Confessions

I started this because I’m selfish. I am writing this blog, not because i care about people in general, but because I care about some specific people. I am standing beside my family and friends. They deserve to be treated like I want to be treated. It sounds harsh. It probably is harsh. That the issues are broader than the little world I occupy doesn’t change that. That I want my gay friends to be treated the same as I want to be treated means I have to stand up for everyone’s rights. That I want the faiths of my friends to be respected means that i have to try to get the same for everyone. 

I am, sometimes, mean-spirited, petty, and shallow. I have done more things that I have no reason to be proud of than I could ever count. I have said things that are hurtful and cruel only for the simple reason that I could. I have looked at people and labeled them with no idea if they really deserved the labels. I have no doubt that I will do those things again. I wish I could say that I won’t. That would be a lie.

I do not understand what it is like to be attracted to a person of the same gender. I have zero desire to. I, sometimes, truly lack empathy. Sorry. I wish, sometimes, that I did understand even if I still didn’t feel the attraction. 

These are simple truths. I wish I could find a way to be objective. I am not sure that will ever be the case. These musings are subjective. They are defined by my perspective. I am not you. We will never really share the same point of view. Life is subjective. We might go through it beside someone, but we also go through it alone. 

None of what I’ve written before changes this, you are not alone. I think that the truth is that we are all capable of being less than we wish we were. I also think that we are able to rise above ourselves sometimes. At least, I hope we are. That means I have a chance, too.

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