Truth

By necessity, being a drug addict makes you a liar. We lie to everyone. Period. We lie to our families. We lie to ourselves. We lie to society. It’s the nature of our world. When we finally tell the truth and get help, we become heroes. Why? It’s like getting a pat on the back for not being a criminal. It’s getting a pat on the back for not destroying everything we come into contact with. It’s praise for not being a drain on society and a menace. That’s a messed up standard. 

If you are gay, you commit no crime. You do no harm to anyone else. Yet, you have to lie, too. To fit in you have to pretend to be something you’re not. When you finally tell the truth you are scorned and persecuted, both within the law and by society. That is also a messed up standard. 

I wish there was an easy answer. I will always have the nightmares of my past. I will always be praised, as long as I am sober, for not being who I was. If I were to relapse, I’d get sympathy and help. Sad part is, I made the decision to become who I was. There is no one to blame but me. My friend had to lie and now that she tells the truth, she becomes less than she deserves by societal standards, if not mine.

I will say this as many times as it takes, my friend, Sarah, is braver than I am. She told the truth knowing the consequences. I told the truth knowing I’d be praised. That double standard is not right. Period. I know these posts won’t make much of a difference to society. I don’t really care. Society is not a person. If they make a difference to one person, they are worth the effort. I would rather have one brave friend than all the rest of the world combined. I have 3. Sarah is one. Aj, for different reasons, is another. My wife is the third. I am prouder of them than I’ll ever be of myself. All I did was stop being a criminal. That’s the truth.

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