Why Is Your Sin an Issue With Me ?

To start, there are a lot of things that I think are sins. Being gay is NOT one of them. With this in mind, here we go…

I think that sin is a willful act. I think that what might be a sin for me is not always one for you. Example, I can not drink. Ever. If I do, it’s a sin. If you are one of those people that can drink and not have it rule your life, then, I don’t think you have sinned. Good for you. Interestingly enough, I think that speeding is a sin. Why? Because, in Romans, Paul makes the point that God puts governments into place and that we are to follow those laws as if they were given by God. Go figure. That makes radar detectors fall into the “sin group”. See how slippery this slope can become? 

There are so many things that fall into the “willful act” bit that it becomes impossible for me to even begin to consider how many I commit in the course of a single day. If I happened to get to the end of the day and went “wow, I managed not to sin today…oops”. Pride just bit me on the a$$.

That to this. With as much stuff as I have to be worried about in my own life, why is your sin an issue to me. The broader issue becomes, as a fallible human, who am I to know that I am absolutely correct and you are totally wrong? There’s a whole “doubt” issue going on here. Yes, I am a Christian. Yes, I want to be correct in my belief. Yes, I have been wrong before and will again. See where this is going? Yes, what I am saying is that someone else could be right, too.
*Sorry, work intruded in the writing of this and it becomes disjointed. Apologies*

My view is that, as a Christian, I am called to “clean up my side of the street”. Life is not like living in a HOA where I am allowed to dictate to you how you live your life. I do not get to “allow” anyone to do anything that doesn’t harm an other.
Marriage equality is kind of the same. The marriage of an other loving couple doesn’t reduce the “property value”, again the HOA bit, of my marriage. The only thing that can reduce the value of the marriage that I’m in is the people in it. What I should be doing is encouraging any committed and loving couple that is brave enough to decide that the rest of their lives need to be together to get married. I do that.
What I don’t get is the opposite mindset. The one that says “I don’t agree with you being gay. I think that’s a sin. So, since I disagree with that, I’m gonna make it worse by not making it possible for you to get married so I can say ‘look at them, they aren’t married and they’re like THAT. Horrible people!” I don’t really know how that works. To digress a tiny bit and explain. My wife and I lived together for a few months before we got married. The church I was a member of wouldn’t perform, or allow any of it’s staff to perform, our wedding. The reason given was that it would “condone living in sin.” What? Marrying us condones “living i sin”? How ’bout the bit where they wouldn’t let us be married by their staff? What message was that supposed to send? That by not marrying us that, in their eyes, there was no way we could not be in a state of sin, no matter our marital status?
Back to the main point, sin can be both subjective and absolute. It is subjective because some acts are sins for one person and not an other. It is absolute in the sense that there are some moral imperatives that are inescapable like rape, murder, theft, and unprovoked aggression. Sin is an act of commission. It is also something that is to be judged by one’s self and one’s Deity, God if you will. Outside of the absolutes, it is not my job to have an issue with the sin of an other. I have enough of my own to worry about.
*** I write, wrote, this post because of a very nice lady named Kelly. She is a happily married newlywed. She and her wife seem happy. Marriages like that make all of ours stronger. She called me a “gem” in a reblog. That kind of embarrassed me. I’m not a “gem”. I’m a fallible human. I muddle through the time on this Earth I’m given. The older I get, the more I realize that the black and whites of my youth are more and more a rainbow of color and that we need to appreciate the differences in everyone. We need to be more concerned with lifting up the good people on the Earth and less concerned with pointing out how different means wrong. Kelly is an other of those people that my path wouldn’t have crossed if I had been concerned with saying “you are wrong” So, again, thanks for the “different” people in my world for allowing me into theirs. Thanks for allowing me to be wrong and giving me a chance to see it without condemning me for it. The world needs more Kelly’s and Aj’s and Z’s and, yes, even a few Miller’s to tell them that not everyone thinks that loving the way they were created and believing how they were created is wrong. It’s not much but, it’s all I can do.



  1. I stand by my comment dear, you are a gem. I live a different life, I’m a Witch, I’ve been one my whole life, but officially began practicing when I was 16. Do I accept the concept of sin…no, not part of my path. Do I understand and accept that it’s part of yours of course I do. It’s part of who you are and I couldn’t judge you for it and wouldn’t. I’ve been “different” my whole life, from what I believe to who I love. It’s hard to be different, it’s hard to have to fight for simple legal protections. It’s such a blessing to not have to keep War & Peace in documentation to keep from being kicked out of my wife’s hospital room if one of her family members decided I wasn’t worthy to stand by her side. We had to go through a lengthy adoption procedure for our son and after we had to have exacting paperwork drawn up to make sure that both of us are covered “in the event” of a loss of one of us. Granted that should happen anyway, but it was so much paperwork just to make sure that our son, remains our son, and no one can come in later and say oops. It is dishearting to have so many people say insensitive and rude things about families like mine, but it’s taught me something. I can be strong, and stand and show people I don’t have fangs, am not after your daughter, and I’m not interested in anything evil. I’m a wife, a mother, a co-worker, a daughter. I’m just like 100’s of other women out there trying to make ends meet and keep their kids healthy and motivated. I’m no one special except to the ones who love me. 🙂 Thanks for standing up, thanks for putting your words out there. They and YOU are appreciated!

    1. The concepts of Heaven, Hell, and Sin might not be part of your faith. They are of mine. We, each of us, live our lives on this rock playing by different rules but with the same goals. The goals being to live our lives in peace and do no harm. If the outcomes are the same, what matter that the rules we live by are different. Interestingly enough, it’s the protection that marriage offers that make it as big an issue as it is with me. I don’t think you are any less deserving of them than I am. How would I be able to stand before God and tell him that preserving my protection was best served by denying you yours? That, to me, is the greatest sin. That I would have the pride to think that I have exclusive right to deny one of His Creations the Blessings that He created. I know that doesn’t fit the way of your belief system. That’s ok. I’m not trying to change you. I’m trying to change the World. It just so happens that, in this case, my rules say I have to protect your rules, too.

      1. I know that, I can accept my friends as they are, same path, different path, it’s all the same to me. It’s your heart that speaks for me to hear and it’s speaking pretty clear. 🙂 Again thank you for your friendship, and support ❤

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