How Do I Help You See?

There’s some more thoughts bubbling away in here. 

I’ve tried being nice. I’ve tried being rude. I’ve stood on a soapbox. I’ve tried whispering in your ear. I’ve tried questioning your beliefs. I’ve tried asking “what do you fear?” I’ve pointed out my beliefs. I’ve tried seeing your perspective. I’ve used myself as examples of what not to do. I’ve pointed out great ladies. I’ve begged, pleaded, and cajoled. I’ve offered examples of choice. I’ve pointed out what isn’t choice. 

Some days, I wonder what else have I missed? What other perspective I might offer? Have I not said the words in a way that might make you doubt and, by doubting, change your perspective? Have I somehow fallen short? How do I change my words so that you might see what I see? What crack I might possibly make so that you might change, just a tiny bit?

Please help me. Please give me some insight. 

Aj is not a threat. Z is not a threat. Really, they’re just the same as you. They only want the same things that you do. They want the same freedom that you take for granted. They want to be left alone to follow the paths that their lives will take. They’re not saying you are wrong. They’re just saying their path is different from yours. Everyone’s path is different from yours. We’re all individuals. 

They’ve allowed me to share their path. They’ve taught me. I’m a better Christian for having a Pagan best friend. I’m a better husband for having a friend that happens to be gay to show me how to care about people. I don’t fear my friends that are different from me. I learn from them.



  1. Beautifully written. The more heterosexual men, particularly Christian men, we have speaking up and speaking out, the better for all of us and for the next generation. Thank you for being one of those. I’m a cis-woman happily married to a cis-man, but I’m a Pagan, so my voice is often ignored by the greater Christian community. So again, thank you.

  2. You’re welcome. I didn’t used to be as nice or as outspoken. I had to un-learn quite a bit. If fear is a learned behavior, so is love. To be entirely honest, if my best-friend-that-is-not-my-wife weren’t Pagan, I would have had no clue. Since she is, I’ve learned.

    1. I’m glad that you’ve got someone in your life not only to help you learn, but to inspire you to learn. And I think coming from a background where you once thought like the vocal (now)minority, it gives you a stronger footing when you face them and say what you feel you need to say. Because you came from that ignorance into love. And that, I think, makes your words even stronger. They can’t say you’ve been brainwashed your whole life, so you don’t know any better. You have looked at the world through their perspective, and now you DO know better. Blessings.

  3. Thank you for your kind words. I think that if more people had good teachers being unkind wouldn’t be the problem it is. I am lucky, I have My Sweety, Aj, and Z to keep me grounded.

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