Last night I wrote about some things I don’t understand. This morning, I’ll write about some things I do understand.
I understand that writing this blog will probably not change the world.
I understand that the ladies I write about and for have friends, families, and lives outside of the part I interact with. That they are not exclusively mine to cherish. That I am part of their lives but, not the only part.
I understand that reading a re-phrase of the same things over and over can get tedious.
I understand that I have a ton of faults and prejudices. That, even though my occupation forces me to deal with people, I am really fairly antisocial. I understand that a computer screen is easier for me to interact with than a large group. If I treat you like a Turing Test, I am more comfortable. I know that is a hypocrisy because I want my friends treated as “real people” and I don’t do the same for you.
I know that I won’t have to experience the same difficulties as the friends I write for. It won’t happen. I’m a white, Christian, middle aged male. That puts me in a group that, no matter how we try to claim it, is really not oppressed. Because the ladies I write about and for are none of those, except for the one that is Christian and she’s gay, they have 2 strikes against them. Add that they are all outspoken and it’s game over for mainstream society. I don’t want to admit it but, what flack I might get for defending them is not the same thing. I even get messages that say words to the effect of “I don’t agree with your stand but, I respect you standing up for your friends”. What they don’t say is “I think I’ll change how I view your friends”. *sigh*
I understand that if it hadn’t become personal to me, I wouldn’t keep trying to help my friends. That without them having taught me, I probably wouldn’t care. Since they did, I do care, if only because I care about them. I know that is selfish. I know that I have probably learned more from them than they will ever learn from me. I know that I lean on them to hold me up. I hope they don’t mind.
I do understand that I’ll keep trying to help my friends.
I also understand that I love my wife.