I have been struggling with a way to write this post. Been talking to Z because she’s the unseen collaborator and insight. I was going to make this a very confrontational post. I was thinking about just being in your face about applying your own hangups and insecurities to Z. Chastising everyone that applied what their perceptions of her were to her. My friends talked me out of it or, at least allowed me to see that idea wouldn’t work.
A wise man once said, “Give me a lever long enough…and I shall move the world”.
Beating someone about the head and shoulders is not the way to change perception. All that does is make them leave the room.
It takes reasons to change. It takes desire to change. It takes a willingness to see other perspectives. I’m not sure I can provide those. What I can do is to provide some common ground. So, I’m going to talk about Z again. Perhaps you might find some common ground with her and because of that, you might be willing to bend your views.
This is Z. She’s gun owning. She’s politically conservative. She’s hard working, three jobs, and pro-capitalism. She’s Christian. She’s a loving and proud mom. She’s been to Iraq as a soldier. She’s college educated. She has eclectic taste in music. She likes to fish. She thinks that bacon should be a food group. She’s patriotic as can be. She works on her own truck. Believe me, you would like to have her as a friend or a next door neighbor. She is a loyal friend. She is monogamous. She’s law abiding. She’s honest to a fault. She’s an itty bitty lady, about 5’1″. She’s a bit of a klutz when she has sharp objects or tools and cuts her fingers. This is Z. She’s a person. She’s not a “them”.
This is what I want you to see when it comes about that “they” want to be treated the same as you. I want you to see Z. I want you to see the smile when she catches a fish. I want you to see her on her way to church. I want you to see her when her truck is broke and she’s elbow deep in grease.I would love it if you saw a picture of her in Iraq. I want you to see her when she’s out on a snow plow. I want you to see the pride she takes in her kids when they accomplish something. Then I want you to tell her that she hasn’t earned equal rights. She doesn’t want any more than she deserves, meaning the same as any other human.
Being gay is not a crime. Being Z is not a crime. Please, as respectfully as I am able to ask it, consider changing your perspective. If you see her as a “sin”, I can not change that part of your mind. What I would ask is that you treat her as a human. She wishes nothing more than that. I know because I asked her. If you are unwilling to bend your views on “equal rights”, not greater merely equal, for them, try doing it for her.