A Grain of Sand or “An Other Ramble”

I was going to write a post. I didn’t have a good idea of what I was going to write so, I decided to save it and try again. This is the retry.


I have this friend, Z. I’ve written about her and for her many times. Some days, I get to the point where I think it’s futile to try to write an other post because, I don’t really think they are making any difference. I wonder how many ways there are to explain how much I like A and think that being gay should not exclude her from all the protections and privileges that straight people have. I wonder how many ways there are to explain that marriage equality and equal protection under the law are not asking for any more than is granted to me. I run out of ideas.

Then I sit and think, “since I don’t have any new ideas, maybe I’ll take a day off.”

Then, I sit and start typing.

You see, here’s the deal. I do sound like a broken record. A different friend responded to me saying that with this reply “Maybe the world needs more broken records.” Which reminds me that, I am Z’s broken record.

I’m not Z’s best friend, I don’t think. I’m not her girlfriend, child, or blood relation. *editorial, I list Z as a cousin on my Facebook page* None of those matter. She’s not my wife, child, best friend, or blood relation, either. She is my accomplice *grins* in this futile seeming quest. That’s a different category. She is a person that is dear to my heart. I think those roles suit us both.

I know that the world needs equality under the law. Z deserves it. The people denying the equality also need it and don’t even realize it. My perspective is more focused than the world. My focus is for Z. I like being her “advocate”. *editorial, she used that word once and I like it, so, I kept it* The reason I like being her advocate is because it lets me do something for someone I care about. Helping feels good. I also like it because she, personally, deserves to have someone to be a voice for her. I know she is capable and willing to stand up for herself but, two voices are better than one.

If you happen to read this and wonder if I think the world will change because of my attempts, I do not. I’m realistic. I do think that if enough of us find our “Z” and stand up as individuals for that person, the world could change. A beach is built one grain of sand at a time. I like the beach and am willing to be a grain.


If you are a Christian, as I am, and believe, as I don’t, that being gay is a sin, please realize, equal protection under the law is a secular issue. If you think that “do unto others as you would have them do unto you” does not apply to those you disagree with, I would ask for you to rethink that. I worry that when we start excluding those people we disagree with from those we think should treat with fairness and equality, we will have that returned to us.


I decided to add an edit. I think that if you say nothing when faced with social injustice, you are as guilty as those actively participating in it. Sure, my reasons for writing are personal. Still, I can not keep silent. I might be trying to remedy injustice for one person but, that’s what we all have to do. Please, find your own Z and speak up for them. Everyone that is a Z deserves to have a Miller standing up for them and beside them. Please help your Z and I’ll help mine. That way WE can change the world.


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