It’s time, again, to make a note like this.
This really isn’t for me to get accolades. This is for Z. I can not walk a mile in her shoes. I’ll never be able to grasp that people in the country I love do not think my ability to love has worth. I’ll never know the pain of realizing that a country that I have gone to war for is not willing to do the same for me.
It is, by extension, for you. If you are in the same situation as Z, it is to say that you are not alone. It is to say, if you are in the same place I am, that there are also people that want their friends and loved ones treated with the same love you have for them.
I try to quantify intangibles like love. I don’t understand it. I know what it feels like, though. I know the love I have for my wife. The thoughts that I save to carry me through my days and nights and, hopefully, old age.
I love Z. Not the “romantic” kind. The love that has come because I can go to her with my fears and nightmares. The trust that makes her my first choice when I need someone to pray for me.
Why, then, does “society” discount this? Why is my capacity for love legitimate and hers not? Why do people think that being straight is not about sex but, being gay is? Why is it that my ability to love is respected and legitimate? Why is it that Christians think I am “misguided” for loving my friend and not condemning her? Why is it that we think that it is our right to judge love?
I suppose I could rant against the haters today. That is not in me this morning. I am saddened by them. I don’t think they are seeing what I see. I don’t think they see past their own fears. I think that diminishes THEM and not Z. I wish they could see the beauty around them in the hearts and lives of the people they despise. I don’t think they will. That is truly sad.
If you find yourself here, you are not alone. There are some of us, me and Z, that think that people have value. That love has worth. That it is possible to be Christian and not full of hate. It still, though, isn’t about me or to make me look good. It is to build up her…and you.