Do you ever get to a spot where you need to write something, are worried about how you are going to handle it, and are, most importantly, concerned for the people involved? This is one of those spots…
I write for, and about, equality. The topic, lately, has been “marriage equality” as a way to express human rights. It could, just as easily, be not seeing people with different faiths as human. Either way, we allow ourselves to see “different” as “wrong”.
I don’t like thinking about other people and the act of sex. Not to say I don’t enjoy the act, just none of my business how other people go about it. That’s for them in the privacy of their own lives.
All that to get to this…
Two of my closest friends are Aj and Z. If you read these, I write for and about those Ladies the majority of the time. They have both been in a marriage where one of the spouses “came out”. In Aj’s case, it was her husband. In Z’s case, it was her. I do not begin to know how I would react in either case. I have tried to put myself in their shoes. Without being them, I can not seem to wrap my head around my reaction. *sigh*
I have seen Aj defend her husband to HIS family. I have seen her say that they are still “partners” and “best friends”. She has said that she still loves him and he still loves her. I have seen him say the same. The amount of dignity, strength, and courage shown are beyond what I can imagine me doing.
I know Z. She prays for me when I need it. I know she would never willingly hurt an other human without reason. She is capable of many things. Cruelty is NOT one. I can not begin to know how it must feel to decide that you can no longer live a lie and, by not living it, disrupt the lives of your family. *editorial, “disrupt” isn’t strong enough a word* I think I would have been a coward and avoided the consequences. She was not. She had the courage to be the person she is and not live in denial.
There is a saying “walk a mile in their shoes”. There are times when we can not do that. There are times when all we can do is love the people we love. Where our best response is “I do not understand what you are going through. I love you.” Those times, it is best that we don’t offer advice or judgement. We don’t try to tell them what to do. We just love them and give silent support.
There are no villains in either case. There are human beings trying to do their best. There are people worthy of love and respect. There is courage shown by all the people involved. There is a place to move forward.