I like hammers. A hammer is a straightforward tool. It is, in its most basic form, a rock on a stick. It hits things. That’s it. You really can’t use it for anything else.

Words are not hammers. I LOVE words. They, too, are tools. They have a far different purpose. They communicate all the thoughts, emotions, and dreams of humans. They can be used to share love…and hate. They can be used to influence others in a way that a hammer can not.

I hope these words have had influence. I hope they’ve encouraged and taught. I really wish they never had to be used. That I feel like I need to write them is because of the words of others. I write of love and inclusion because of the words of exclusion and hate that others have written.

Words have given us Winnie the Pooh, The Constitution, and the Bible. Words have said, “I have a dream…” Words said, “will you marry me” and “I do.” Words tell us of our past and help shape our future.Words can inflame and encourage. Words can define us…


For all of their uses, there are things words can not do. Words are not a hug. They are not the feeling of a warm summer’s day. They are not the smell and taste of a home cooked meal. Words will never describe the feeling I have, in the middle of the night, when I hear my wife sleeping next to me.


Z said she likes it when I write about Aj. The words I use to describe her limit her. It is their function. *exhale* That’s the problem with words.

If you take the words that define, then you can use them, not to include but, to divide. The things I admire and respect about Aj, could also be used by someone else, not to. *editorial, sorry for the next bit, Z* The same could be said of Z. I respect their sarcasm. I respect their individuality. I love their independence. I truly enjoy that Aj is Pagan. I respect Z for coming out and taking the consequences of that. They are both strong willed and tough. Those things might not be traits others would want in friends but, those things are things I seek out. My wife is also the same way. Those Ladies march to the drummer that plays for them and leaves it up to you to decide if you want to go along.

I have said all those things about Aj and Z, yet they do not begin to communicate WHO they are. I have pictures in my mind of them. All the words in the world would not be adequate to communicate what I carry. If I were to be writing for the rest of my life, I would not come close to expressing the whole of my feelings for my wife or who she is. The individuals make the words pale in comparison.

Please, please, do not use words to divide. Do not think that “Christian” is a word that means that a “Pagan” can not be your best friend. Aj is my best friend. Period. Do not think that “Straight” is a word that means you must oppose “Gay”. I will be an advocate for Z as long as she wants me to be. Those words, that others would say should divide the three of us, are meaningless  in the context of humanity. They are just fragments of the individuals.

Humans are not words. Humans are living, breathing, caring and loved. Don’t use words to limit us. Don’t let one word divide us. Don’t let a sentence make us less than we are. Choose your words carefully but, don’t let them blind your heart.

I wish my words were clearer. I wish they were more organized. If I could, I would use better words to persuade and encourage. I’ll keep trying. Perhaps, someday, I’ll find the right words.



  1. The problem with words is they become labels. They are propped up by those who would divide us as opposed to connecting us. They attempt to let them stand on their own. Never let a single label define who you are. Never let anyone else’s single label define who you are. I am a sum of many, simple, complicated, diverse, conflicting, broad, emotional, quiet, expletive, reflective, faithful, loud, sarcastic, tender, caring, small, charged and grandiose words. I am only A sum, not THE sum. I am a work in progress. I am a sum of my parts, experiences, descriptors and surroundings. Words fail us from time to time, but we keep trying to use them to make sense of the world around us and the little corner we call our own. As we grow, so does the mass of words afforded to us to use.

    Keep it up MD3. Another one for the masses!!

  2. Yeppers, Z. 3 words, hunh? If words were enough, I’d have stopped by now. I KNOW y’all aren’t just a single label. If you were, you’d be boring. THAT’S a word that’ll never describe you. *grins* I do have a single word that does, though. Friend.

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