I think she finally got it. I’m glad she did. I’ve been trying to tell Z since I started that this is a collaboration. Yesterday, I sent her a copy of a comment I received about a previous post. Now she understands. I’ve been telling her that the inspiration is, at least, as important as the words themselves…
Here’s the point. Z is the reason I write these. They aren’t to make me feel good about myself. They aren’t to atone for some sense of guilt. They’re to persuade, mostly gently, people to see who I see. They’re to encourage people that think that everyone is against them. They exist to tell Christians that they can be for gay rights without compromising their faith. They are to make Z a real person and, by doing so, make the issues a “that person” a “us” and to remove the word “them”. For all of those reasons, Z is far more important than I am in our effort. Without her, this blog wouldn’t exist in the form or, for the reason, it does.
In the end, social issues aren’t changed because we mandate it. They are changed because of people finding out that we have more in common than we have differences. Always, since the first post about Marriage Equality, I’ve written about Z. I’ve tried to share her with anyone that would listen or read. Her life and who she is are the examples I use. She told me that she used herself to “educate”. I try to do the same. I try to convey a sense of who she is. I’ve been sparing with some details out of respect for her privacy and family. *editorial, that’s fine, those aren’t really needed* I’ve also tried to convey the love I have for her, her personality *editorial, quirky, smart, sarcastic, and smart-a$$ come to mind* and her character. I’ve been vocal about her being a veteran and a good mom. I’ll continue to do those things because she deserves them.
We, she and I and you, can change the world. We have to do it one person at a time. We have to educate. We can do it best by not being “in your face” but by being in your life. The way prejudice ends is by knowing someone and caring for them. Someday this won’t be an issue. *sigh* For now, though, it is. If I had a suggestion to y’all, it would be, live your life. Be who you are. Interact. If you are able and it is safe, let people know. The best way to convince someone is by your actions. Words, even these words, are cheap. Actions and lives make much more impact.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the issue isn’t “gay rights”. The issue is the rights of all citizens. It isn’t how we treat some random person that happens to be LBGT. How do we treat that citizen, that human? It is how do we treat that person right there? How do we treat Z? Perhaps I’m too close to it? I know my bias makes it personal. I know that’s how we win. We win when everyone like me has someone like Z in their world. If you can, be either of those. I know my world is a better place for having Z in it. Who would have ever thought that a straight, married, Christian man would have spent so much time writing about one person? It isn’t about me writing about LBGT issues. It is about and always for Z.