I think I’ve followed this train of thought before…or maybe not…
Writing the blog can be a great amount of fun. It allows me to do some things I enjoy. I am able to use the exercise of writing as a way to organize my thoughts and philosophies. It allows me to explore my faith and world view. It allows me to build up and tease Z at the same time. *sometimes, I think the praise embarrasses her* It allows me to try to show her to the World. It is my own “pride parade” since the only way I will march in a real one is if I’m walking with her. *I am prouder of Z than these words will ever express and it’s only in the tiniest bit because she’s not hiding who she is. Her life is worth being proud of*
It can also be something that I hate. There is a constant reminder that strangers hold her life against her. That the reason for the blog is to convince people that she has worth.
I wish…I wish…I wish…
She IS NOT the hateful words people use. Those words and thoughts do not apply. The words that do apply include warm, caring, intelligent, sarcastic, wild, loving, rebellious, sane, witty, athletic, patriotic, short *grins*, cute, brave, and a bunch more…
Truth be told, it takes far more courage for her to allow me to use her as the focal point of this blog than I have. I’m merely the voice.
Some good things have come out of this. We’ve become close. I mean, we were friends before a couple of years ago, just not close. Then I started posting some pro-LBGT stuff on Facebook and she kept commenting. I thought “cool, a ‘fellow traveler'” because I thought she was straight. Funny thing, it turns out I was wrong. Who knew? *editorial, for lots of reasons, some outside the context of this, I had NO idea. That and I wasn’t looking for a date since I’m very happily married* Since we started writing, really I write and it’s a we because it is, there has been a huge amount of trust built up. Like has turned to love. Truly, I love Z. *editorial, I NEVER use the word “love” casually. I do not say it or write it by accident or as a way to express “like”. She uses that word, too. In fact, if memory serves, she used it first* *grins* She’s one of my two closest friends that are not my wife. The fact that she trusts me to write for her means more to me than I can say. That I am able to tell her the stuff that I don’t tell anyone else besides Sweety has come from that.
She’s more of a socially outgoing person than I am. I don’t want a bunch of “friends”. I don’t “run around” much. I’m much more of a “work and go home” person. It’s a difference that we have. For me, crowds and noise are just “unfun”.
I have learned from her. She is herself. She makes no bones about it. There is not a speck of pretense in the woman. You don’t like her or what she is? She doesn’t care. In fact, I get more offended by comments made by random people and co-workers than she does. I’m nowhere close to being as self-confident as she is
We talk often…well as often as our schedules permit. We try to have a phone call a day. It doesn’t happen that often but, often enough. It’s nice to have someone that doesn’t want anything from you but, your continued well being. Just a voice on a phone to vent to or ask silly questions or bounce thoughts off of.
I don’t know where the story will end. Within the month, the SCOTUS will rule on the Marriage Equality cases before it. I know what I want and expect to happen. I don’t know if it will. I do know that however that turns out, it won’t be the end of the blog or it’s current topic. Just because the laws will be changed, prejudices and pushback won’t. I expect that the states won’t let it pass without more laws and attempts to repress. *sigh*…and I’ll keep writing…
I don’t know how the current focus of the blog will change. I don’t know what variations it will go through. The exercise of writing is fun. The subject matter, Z, is worth the effort. I’d like it if she would share some of her own words even if I don’t expect that to ever happen.
For now, this post was just a story, a true story. I receive comments like “You are such a fine friend!” and think, “no, I’m not.” I’m just a friend. I’m doing this for Z. It isn’t for praise. It is what I’m SUPPOSED to do. If I’m willing to tell her, in private, that she’s loved, I should do it in public. It is my privilege to be able to write.That’s all…
Thanks, to you, readers. In the grand scheme of things, y’all are important. If you don’t read these, then there’s no point. My views are set. Z is who she is. It is your opinions that matter. It is you we are trying to influence. When you comment and it builds up Z, that matters. When you are encouraged, that matters. When you show approval for my friend, those words are important.
You, all of you, in the 35, i think, countries that have read these, have lives and loves. Those matter, too. That is also the point. This may be a blog about LBGT rights as a specific focus but, it is really about treating ALL humans with the basic respect and dignity we all deserve.
There ya go. For what it’s worth, if you told me two years ago I’d be writing a blog and a story about writing a blog, I wouldn’t have believed you. No way would I have thought that a married guy and a girl that likes girls would have been able to do this. I wish the circumstances were different. “I love me some Z”. She truly is a treasure. She is an inspiration to me. Not only is she my favorite L, she’s my favorite Z. I’m glad she’s the only Z I know. Otherwise, I’d have to decide which is my favorite. *grins*…I still hope she decides to write one of these…and really don’t expect it…
Thanks for coming along with us, so far.