I Have No Clue How to Title This One…

This is the week, we hope, that the SCOTUS rules in favor of Marriage Equality. While we’re waiting, I’m trying to figure out what to write…

I’ve said all I can think of *editorial, I probably haven’t but…* to convince anyone that will listen that there is no more to fear from making Equal Rights equal…


I had a long conversation with someone the other day that was convinced that his “religious freedom” would be compromised by Marriage Equality. I tried and tried to convince him, politely because I like the guy, that he was not correct. As much as I respect his views on every other topic, we’re not going to see it the same way. Perhaps because, as a Christian, I don’t feel infringed on by the actions or lives of others. My best friend that isn’t Z, is Pagan. She is not a threat to my faith. If Z were ever find a girl she wanted to marry, that wouldn’t be a threat either. My freedoms are not infringed on because of the freedoms of an other person. The free practice of my faith isn’t damaged by ANYONE else. I am secure in my beliefs. Nothing any person outside of me is capable of doing may shake them. Nothing will stop me from praying as I see fit. *sigh* I don’t suppose he and I will ever see eye to eye…


I read the last and need to add this. My marriage is stronger because of Z. My views on Marriage Equality give me reasons to think about how I can be a good partner to my wife. Having Z as a person to talk to helps me in my life. That a group has to fight to gain a right I take for granted and that one of my marriage’s biggest supporters is being denied the same rights just p**es me right the f**k off. Pardon my French…


One of the things I call a “hobby is “doing nice things for…” One of the reasons this blog exists is because Z in one of those “for…” people. *editorial, she’s one of 3 that fit in the “for…” spot* I had a lady tell me today, “Friendship is at its best when it is from both sides coming together in the middle. Otherwise, it is just one person enabling the other.” She is correct. Since Z prays for me and calms me down when I’m mad and gives me a person to dump stress on and makes me laugh, this seems like a fair return. Since she says there’s no obligation, it’s my own free will. Since I don’t do ANYTHING outside of work I don’t want to do, I’d agree…

It misses the point, though. I want to write for her. I love the Lady to pieces. I enjoy the feeling I get when I am able to find words that build her up. I like that it’s a “we” effort, even if she doesn’t proofread or screen what I write. Being part of a team feels good. That she’s the teammate that chose me, it feels better. I mean, do you have someone that, every time you think about them, you smile and feel a sense of belonging? Writing this means that one of the handful that I feel that way about is at the front of my mind. I think about what I’m going to write before I do. I write it. I start thinking about the next one. Lots of chances to smile and feel “warm fuzzies” *grins*


For what it’s worth, if it weren’t for Z coming out to me, I’d have never written the blog. I might have done a few posts around the subject but, not this many and not this much effort. This is the point *I’ve made it before*, having someone you love as a motivation is the best motivation. If it wasn’t for that, we wouldn’t be here. To have a desire to motivate strangers to change the world for other strangers, altruism is not enough. It HAS to be personal. I’m just not that nice. The cynical part of me says no one is.

If you have the skill and desire to help a friend, do. For me, this is a way.

If you want your world changed, reach out. She didn’t ask me to do these. She does give me support. She encourages. Yes, for all that she’s real and listed in my phone as Z, there are parts of her life that are “out of bounds”. There are pieces I will never tell, not to any other human. That doesn’t lessen the reality of her. If it is safe, let someone know. *editorial, she knew I was an ally and we were friends for a few years before she told me. It just wasn’t germane ’till she did*

Even though the specifics of this blog are LBGT Rights, doesn’t have to mean that you’re gay. There are other reasons to try to change the way things are. There are other ways that society covers it’s eyes and ignores issues.

I’ve said it time and again, I have bias. I write because I can write for her. I continue to try to persuade because of one person. If I had it to do over, I’d still be writing the blog. The only change would have been to start sooner. I don’t think she and I would be as close if it weren’t for this. If for no other reason, that has made a big difference in my life. I’m self-centered. I love having her as an important part of my world. I’m glad I can do something in return.


I don’t know if any of this made sense. It did to me. I hope it helps…


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