Yeah, I Had to Work at It…

I have been accused of “overcomplicating” things. *grins* What it is is that my mind races along and finds something to fill places where most minds just leave voids. My tiny brain is like a rubber ball in a can in a paint shaker. It bounces off the walls in random directions…This is one of those times…

Someone said, “distance themselves from the judgemental crap.” I am far from that. I am judgemental as Hell. There are things I will ALWAYS, every time, “judge” and find unacceptable. Period. On the other hand, this was my response, ” I did “judge” her. I found her to be quite worth keeping as my best friend for the rest of my life. I stand by that initial judgment.” So, now we have context for where my mind is racing along to…

I asked myself, would we be as close if we were alike. I mean, if I weren’t a “recovering Fundie” and she wasn’t a Witch? My best answer is, “nope”.

Well Hell, why not? The best way to explain is that it took a bunch of initial effort to get past “Witches are going to Hell. How can I be friends with one of them?” Then, once I got somewhat past that, her Practice and Gods took more thought and mental processing. So, just to get to “friends”, for me a very non-casual word, took many, meaning hundreds, of hours and days of thought and introspection…

Yeah, I judged her. I looked at the way she treated me when we first met and I was being “the angry husband guy” because someone that she had some authority over had offended my wife. *editorial, I will go completely ballistic if I “think” you’ve offended my wife. I am incredibly “old fashioned” like that. She comes first. Rude to me? No biggie. Her? All bets are off…* Anyway…I watched how she responded. I looked at the way she lived her life. How she treated her husband and her interactions with her friends and me came under scrutiny…and she did the same with me…

There is a point to all of this, we, she and I, put a bunch of effort into understanding someone with similar values and vastly differing faiths. We, somewhere during that process of investing energy realized that there was a deep friendship. Having to learn, being forced to put that much time into it is a cause…The effect is that I need the challenge that having her beliefs and friendship causes. I NEED to be made to think. It is good for me to question MY views by having a different perspective…

I also need the comfort that her friendship brings. My past life was in constant flux and full of distrust. I count on having her as my best friend almost as much as I count on being married to Sweety. It is reassuring to know that, even if we may fight, they will be around to the end of my life. Yeah, I am able to say that because to my wife I swore an oath before God and man and Aj and I have just given our word, something that both of us take very seriously.

Yes, Aj, my brain bounced around. No, this isn’t overcomplication. It was just a question that my mind asked. If I hadn’t had to work at changing me, would you be as dear to me as you are? We see the long answer. The short answer is, “Who knows? The effort has already been made…” Now we’re at the easy part, grow old knowing that there will be friendship till “old” is no more…


Sorry this seems disjointed. Part got written before work and the rest 13 hours later. It’s ok. Just live with the sort of mental gap and read what I mean. *grins*



  1. Not over complicated at all 😀 …me and hubby are total opposites and ” bicker” incessantly…much to the amusement of shop workers and passing pedestrians…and it makes them smile because the love is real and visible to all XXX

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