ally

Crossings…

Once upon a time…
Some people were wandering in the wilderness. They had been seriously lost. They had wandered for a generation and had begun to believe that they would never find their way out. Finally, they got to where they could see where they were going. They could see the goal that they had begun to believe they would never reach but, there was a river in the way. That brought their dreams to a crashing halt but, their holy men prayed and they were given an answer from their God. He said, “I will make a path through the water and you will set monument stones where you walk that path through the river.” They agreed. They had the leaders of their tribes set those stones in the middle of the river where they had walked on dry land. Then their God closed up the river over those monuments leaving them unseen except for in the memories of the survivors…

Now, no matter what happened, they couldn’t cross back and they couldn’t disregard the importance of honoring the monuments their God had instructed them to place. They didn’t know what the future would hold, only that their past was closed to them…

Our lives are like that. Sometimes we face obstacles that seem unpassable. We get to the edge and don’t know what to do. We can see where we need to be, it’s right over there,but, we can’t see a way to cross to it…and then something changes…

I was faced with one of those places recently. I have had issues with trusting people, with believing that they will remain true to what they say. I have friends that have helped me get to the edge of the river by showing me that THEY could be trusted but, that was hard won, like the journey leading to the river. Still, I wanted to keep my distrust because it’s safer that way…and something happened. Just like in the story, one more person came along and changed things. They changed it by trusting me first…

The story shows, to me, a bunch of other things…

It shows me that, once crossed, we can not go back to our past…

It teaches that, although we fear the river might close up and swallow us, it is better to cross and begin again, no matter our fears.

It also lets us know that those crossings aren’t done alone. They asked their God for help and crossed with each other…

We don’t always see those crossings. Sometimes we look back and realize we did cross.

Sometimes the milestones and monuments differ. Some are places in time. Others are locations or objects. The most important are the people that help us and we keep them in our memories and hearts forever.

In the end, the best monuments are the memories of the times that a person neither pulled or pushed but, took our hand and walked along side. They are never seen but, exist to this day.

I have my Stones. I do them Honor by both remembering them, they are with me always, and not going back to who I used to be.

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I’m Not Your Ally

I was reading an article about allies. I’ll give it this, I write, mostly, in favor of LBGT Rights and Religious Freedom for Pagans…and everyone else. The article was saying how allies are not needed because they do it to feel better about themselves or from some feeling of sharing “the struggle”…

So, I’m not an ally. I’m self-serving. I don’t want to “share the struggle”. I like not being a target. I don’t want to know what it’s like to be persecuted. The names and degradation cast do not appeal to me. I have no martyr complex. I am, though, a subversive working from within the system trying to change it. I am trying to change the attitudes of my demographic by showing it that there’s nothing to fear. I am also selfish and non-altruistic. My reasons for writing are specific people. Humans that I know. Yeah, like sometimes happens, I find that there are more people I know that are in one or the other of the groups I write about and have to add them to the “write for” part but, that’s rare. I’ll also admit that I am realistic. To change the world for specific people, I have to help the greater body of strangers.

I hope this doesn’t sound harsh. I can be a bit of a jerk but, I don’t see anything wrong with being protective of the people I think of as mine. I don’t really see a difficulty with my view. I expect people to be not altruistic. I expect that there is gain for the person doing the “activism” or “giving” or what ever you want to call it. I have reasons. Mine are that people, specific people, I care about should be treated as humans…Mine are also that I fear that what is applied to one group, be it religious or sexual orientation, could be one day applied to me. I see people muttering about a “war on Christianity” while looking to repress another group. Those mutterers fail to realize that the tools they use to limit a group could be used against them. They ignore that the Equal Protection clause means that the same laws have to be applied evenly. If we limit religious freedom for one group, it must needs be applied across the board.

I will also admit that I am predisposed to like people because they belong to one of a couple specific minorities. To be clear, though, this bias comes about, again, because of individuals I know. *editorial, 50.8% of the US population, based on 2008 data, is female and not a minority* Anyway, if someone tells me they are Pagan, because of Aj, I am more inclined to want to like them. I know, I should prefer my own group but, we have enough advocates and I really love Aj so, I expect, perhaps falsely, that I will find the same qualities in them I find in her. When I meet a Lady and find out she is gay, the Z Bias comes in to play. Z is one of my very favorite people on the planet and I, because of her, expect to like them. *other editorial, the people I am closest to are women and so, I tend to favor them, over men, as people I am potentially going to like. Men tend to be sissies and whiners* I also get that I am a Romantic, using the old meaning. Because of the biases I’ve shown, I tend to have an idealized view of the people within those groups that I care about. I can be blind, willingly, to faults. *sigh* It happens…

I know I’ve tracked down this path before this post. *sigh* Maybe I’m just a cynical old b*****d. I don’t expect that people become passionate about an issue without selfishness as the root. If I don’t have personal emotional loading as a basis, no matter how much logic I apply to my conclusions, I tend not to care. An example of that lack of loading is gun control. I have no emotional loading one way or the other and so, tend to let others have a strong view and vocal opinions.

I hope this is making sense.

So, *inhale* I want y’all to take this the way it’s meant. It isn’t that I don’t want people at large to be treated equally, it’s that I don’t know you. I know who I write for. I love some of them and merely like others of them. *editorial, there are more that I know and love/like than just Aj and Z* I try to be protective of those that I know *see comment about being “Romantic”* because that’s the way I’m wired. My passion for the subjects I write about comes from the people involved. I want safety and acceptance for them. The only way to get there from here is to try to convince people, all people, to be accepted for what they are. My heart and mind are not big enough to wrap around the numbers of unknowns. They are big enough to cherish those I DO know. I want the Ladies I know to be treated with respect, not because they are women but, because they are humans I love. I want them to be given dignity and safety not because they are Pagan or gay or both, but because they as individuals deserve it. To that end, it has to happen for everyone that fits one of those groups. I want to be able to sleep well knowing that some jerk isn’t going to do something to them out of xenophobia, religious bias, or fear. *editorial, I get that life is not “safe. We all will die*

In the end, I’m really not an ally. I am a person that is protective of people he cares about. I do gain from this effort. My gain is that my friends lives might be made easier. That they might be less concerned for what could happen to them. That they may have more time to spend on more important things than worrying about random violence or persecution. I am also self-centered in that I worry that the same tools to persecute may someday be used against me.

I really hope this made sense…

Your Objections Have Been Noted, Here’s My Rebuttal…

*sigh*

I gotta go back to this…

I was looking. Depending on the poll, roughly 6% of the population of the US is LBG. Broken down, roughly 1.7% Lesbian, 1.7% gay, 1.8% Bisexual. Again, that is, roughly, 8 million people, total. There are some variances in the surveys and the numbers…In the US, roughly 83% identify as Christian. That is, roughly, 264.5 million.

Why is it so hard to figure out? A “Gay Army” is not out to destroy Christianity. Assuming that some portion of the 8 million are Christian, lets use half and make it lower than the stats would suggest, that leaves 4 million. By what reach of imagination do we get to this war against us?

*sigh*

Holy Birdbrain, Batman. Even if the numbers were doubled, there wouldn’t be enough. Even if they cared enough to be out to get you, odds are by the time they got to you, they’d be worn out from trying.

*sigh*

“But my Bible says…” Yeah, I have one, too. I read mine, too. I read the spot where Moses brought down the Law. No words about being gay there. I read the Laws Jesus gave us…

“28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[b] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[c] There is no commandment greater than these.” ”  Mark 12:29-31

There is no ambiguity there. Those are the rules. No exceptions. Anything else is against the words of Christ. I read some preacher, wish I remembered who, say, “Jesus and the Bible hate gays”. Ok, I’ll play, where in the Bible did JESUS say that. Look in the bits that have red letters, those are his words. Find a quote. Cite chapter and verse. No, you don’t get to paraphrase or “read between the lines”, quote the verse, I’ll wait…Never mind, there’s no point, Jesus never said those words.

“But Paul said…” Ok, I’ll play, Paul is NOT the Son of God. He wrote his opinion. Period. The Words of Jesus should be every Christian’s “default mode”. If they aren’t, we have vastly different ideas of what being a Christian is…

*****

Ok, next point and arguments…

“They want to redefine marriage”…How? By saying that they want to make a lifetime commitment? Ah no. Your objection has been noted. “But marriage is for procreation…” So, you are saying a paraplegic can not be married, either. You are saying my marriage is invalid because we are, and will be, childless. “But marriage is a CHRISTIAN institution…” So, you invalidate every couple that is not Christian’s marriage. Tell that to the other 17% of the population that isn’t Christian.

Those objections have been noted and rejected.

*****

Final objection…

They are re-interpreting the Constitution…How? The Constitution has not one single word about marriage in it. It does have some specific wording, though, “Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” The words you are looking for are “No State “,”citizens”, “due process of law”, and “nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws”. There is not the tiniest bit of wiggle room. There are ZERO exceptions listed. Not “citizens except the gay ones”, just “citizens”. Period. That is the strictest possible way to read it. If your straight Christian marriage is protected, so is every other one. Period.

“Blah blah blah slippery slope to pedophiles or livestock or appliances…” etc. If you are so thick skulled and obtuse as to think that a predatory criminal act is the moral equivalent of a non-criminal act between adults, then there’s no point in trying to reason with that point. You failed the test.

*****

*sigh*

Look, here’s the bottom line, it’s done. It won’t be undone. No matter how much you whine, it’s over.

For what it’s worth, I’ll admit my bias, again. I’m a married, straight, Christian man. My best friend is a single, Lesbian, Christian. She’s no threat to you. She doesn’t want you to do something that makes you feel your religion is under threat. She’s the first one to jump to your right to your beliefs. She’ll be the first one to defend your right to all the non-PC comments you want to make. She was a soldier. She went into Iraq during the First Gulf War. She probably thinks more of the Constitution than you do because she swore an oath to defend it and never quit that oath. I promise she’s more conservative than you ever thought about being. She doesn’t want “special” privileges just “equal protection” since she is a “citizen”. That’s not too much to ask.

You can keep your objections. They have been noted. The War on Marriage, the Judicial Over-reach,  The Against My Religion, allow me to be blunt…or ignore me, I really don’t care. You are being paranoid. That victim mentality you want to use to repress a minority of the population looks ugly on you.

*****

Sorry for the tone of this post. I’m really not angry, just worn out. I love Z. Yeppers, freely admit that I love another woman that isn’t my wife. I hope she does find a woman worth her and get married. *Editorial, loving a girl that likes girls isn’t a threat to my marriage. Nothing is because my wife ALWAYS will be the love of my life* I take it personally, far more than Z does, when I read how she’s going to be the “downfall of ‘Merica”. I take the perception that she’s a threat to people she defends as an insult to her. She earned better treatment than that. So, I HAD to write a rebuttal to the stupidity and hate that I see.

If none of my answers apply to you, pose an argument that is valid, not defensive.

If my answers defend your rights, that was our point. I’ll always have Z’s back…and yours.

In the end, it really is that simple, we are not allowed to judge the quality of an adult’s love for another adult. We are not given the right to demean or devalue someone for being different. We, the majority, should be protecting the minorities. We are, ultimately, ALL minorities because, we are all individuals. When I stand before God, he’s only going to show me the value of MY soul, not yours. My actions and thoughts are the ones I answer for. How I treated the ones I love, not who you loved…that’s it. We were born alone and we’ll die alone. In the middle, we should try to walk in peace with each other…

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Thanks to Shane Turner for allowing me to use this image. Find him here.https://www.facebook.com/shaneturnerart

Thanks to Shane Turner for allowing me to use this image. Find him here.https://www.facebook.com/shaneturnerart

Some Thoughts About June 26…

Some of the randomly good things from yesterday…

As much as I think it’s cool that liking girls is something I have in common with Z, I don’t have to have it be constantly at the fore of my brain. I mean, I, because of the blog, constantly had to think about it because it was the predominant topic of this blog…

I kept watching the Dreaded Facebook and was surprised at the amount of people that are members of the “silent majority”. Those that had never commented either way that were wearing rainbow faces…

The perception that the number of “antis” were really just a vocal minority…

That the issue is settled. No matter how you try, Equal Protection and Due Process apply to everyone…

That I don’t have to be quite so serious *grins*. I’ve been writing these for a year and a half, almost 300. Probably 200 have been about LBGT Rights. Because of the context, I wasn’t allowing my inner goof to come out as much. I like my inner goof. Sure, there will be some backlash, still, it has no legal basis. The deal is done…

*****

Some other thoughts that are just thoughts…

We gotta find a different focus. I’ve gotten used to writing these. I enjoy the process. It’s just that I had a topic that was, and still is, important to me, Z. What or who to write about next?

Talked to Z. We, the Muse and I, are gonna take a week or so off…

*****

Thanks, Z…

Thanks for the trust you gave me. I’m keeping it…

Thanks for the love you gave me. That’s mine, too..

Thanks for the compliment you paid by allowing me to be your voice. Yeppers, can’t have that one back, either…

One of the things I value most is a word you used in private, “protector”. If you don’t mind, I’ll keep that job. You don’t need one because you’re both tough and brave but, I think the trust that “protector”  implies is something that is worth far more than just a word…

Someone tried to say that my gratitude to you for sharing your world with me implied that my friendship with you was “one sided”. The intangibles of what you’ve given me far outweigh some words typed on a screen. Thanks. It really does go both ways. Always, blog or no blog, you have a space in my heart, always will…

Every gift you’ve given me, you’ve returned. The trust, love, outspoken voice, and protection have been well and truly returned by you. If you don’t mind, I’m gonna have to keep you doing those things. They keep my demons at bay just by being there.

*****

Crap, almost posted without this…

I set out to change the world for Z…and everyone else. I don’t really get any credit because I was just one more voice. Yesterday, June 26, 2015, the World changed. Thanks to y’all for all your support.

I Have No Clue How to Title This One…

This is the week, we hope, that the SCOTUS rules in favor of Marriage Equality. While we’re waiting, I’m trying to figure out what to write…

I’ve said all I can think of *editorial, I probably haven’t but…* to convince anyone that will listen that there is no more to fear from making Equal Rights equal…

*****

I had a long conversation with someone the other day that was convinced that his “religious freedom” would be compromised by Marriage Equality. I tried and tried to convince him, politely because I like the guy, that he was not correct. As much as I respect his views on every other topic, we’re not going to see it the same way. Perhaps because, as a Christian, I don’t feel infringed on by the actions or lives of others. My best friend that isn’t Z, is Pagan. She is not a threat to my faith. If Z were ever find a girl she wanted to marry, that wouldn’t be a threat either. My freedoms are not infringed on because of the freedoms of an other person. The free practice of my faith isn’t damaged by ANYONE else. I am secure in my beliefs. Nothing any person outside of me is capable of doing may shake them. Nothing will stop me from praying as I see fit. *sigh* I don’t suppose he and I will ever see eye to eye…

*****

I read the last and need to add this. My marriage is stronger because of Z. My views on Marriage Equality give me reasons to think about how I can be a good partner to my wife. Having Z as a person to talk to helps me in my life. That a group has to fight to gain a right I take for granted and that one of my marriage’s biggest supporters is being denied the same rights just p**es me right the f**k off. Pardon my French…

*****

One of the things I call a “hobby is “doing nice things for…” One of the reasons this blog exists is because Z in one of those “for…” people. *editorial, she’s one of 3 that fit in the “for…” spot* I had a lady tell me today, “Friendship is at its best when it is from both sides coming together in the middle. Otherwise, it is just one person enabling the other.” She is correct. Since Z prays for me and calms me down when I’m mad and gives me a person to dump stress on and makes me laugh, this seems like a fair return. Since she says there’s no obligation, it’s my own free will. Since I don’t do ANYTHING outside of work I don’t want to do, I’d agree…

It misses the point, though. I want to write for her. I love the Lady to pieces. I enjoy the feeling I get when I am able to find words that build her up. I like that it’s a “we” effort, even if she doesn’t proofread or screen what I write. Being part of a team feels good. That she’s the teammate that chose me, it feels better. I mean, do you have someone that, every time you think about them, you smile and feel a sense of belonging? Writing this means that one of the handful that I feel that way about is at the front of my mind. I think about what I’m going to write before I do. I write it. I start thinking about the next one. Lots of chances to smile and feel “warm fuzzies” *grins*

*****

For what it’s worth, if it weren’t for Z coming out to me, I’d have never written the blog. I might have done a few posts around the subject but, not this many and not this much effort. This is the point *I’ve made it before*, having someone you love as a motivation is the best motivation. If it wasn’t for that, we wouldn’t be here. To have a desire to motivate strangers to change the world for other strangers, altruism is not enough. It HAS to be personal. I’m just not that nice. The cynical part of me says no one is.

If you have the skill and desire to help a friend, do. For me, this is a way.

If you want your world changed, reach out. She didn’t ask me to do these. She does give me support. She encourages. Yes, for all that she’s real and listed in my phone as Z, there are parts of her life that are “out of bounds”. There are pieces I will never tell, not to any other human. That doesn’t lessen the reality of her. If it is safe, let someone know. *editorial, she knew I was an ally and we were friends for a few years before she told me. It just wasn’t germane ’till she did*

Even though the specifics of this blog are LBGT Rights, doesn’t have to mean that you’re gay. There are other reasons to try to change the way things are. There are other ways that society covers it’s eyes and ignores issues.

I’ve said it time and again, I have bias. I write because I can write for her. I continue to try to persuade because of one person. If I had it to do over, I’d still be writing the blog. The only change would have been to start sooner. I don’t think she and I would be as close if it weren’t for this. If for no other reason, that has made a big difference in my life. I’m self-centered. I love having her as an important part of my world. I’m glad I can do something in return.

*****

I don’t know if any of this made sense. It did to me. I hope it helps…

The Z Agenda

Okie dokie. I thought I’d drop a quick post this morning. I’ve written this blog for some time, about a year and a half. It kind of morphed from being a blog about my growth to a blog about LBGT Rights. I think that’s part of the growth process, learning to step outside myself. It has an “agenda”. I thought I’d make that clear. I’m not really altruistic when I write. I do write for a specific person, Z aka The Muse. I love my wife. She’s the only person I’ve ever “romantically” loved in my life. She’s the only person I ever intend to love that way. I am ENTIRELY faithful and dedicated to her. I also love Z. She’s as close to me as it is possible for me to allow any human to be.

*****

The Z Agenda is…

I don’t care who she loves as long as it is not a crime. I don’t care what she does as long as it is not self-destructive. I will support whatever decisions she makes as long as I am able. I don’t want to see her come to harm. I do want her to find a Love that is worth her. I will pray for the best for her for the rest of my life.

I do care what her faith is because, she is the first Christian I go to for prayer and want it to stay that way. If she were to change that, I would have to find a new “first Christian” and, being selfish, I don’t want to…

That is the Agenda. It says nothing about gay or straight, male or female. I DO NOT care. It is her life to live and mine to be supportive of…that’s it.

*****

For what it’s worth. There are lots of Z’s. There are a lot of people that are as unique as she is and as worthy of having a voice. I found mine. Find your’s and speak for them. If a bunch of us do, perhaps WE can change the World for ALL the Z’s.

What If…

This is another wandering around a train of thought posts, bear with me…

What if I weren’t born a hetero, white, Christian, male? What if I were born Z? *editorial, Lesbian, white, Christian-ish, female* Would my opinion still count? What if my politics weren’t a mishmash of Conservative, Liberal, and Libertarian? Would I have a valid point when I voted? Would God hear my voice? Would you discount my view as being self-serving? When I admit my bias toward Z, do you think I’ve fallen for an “agenda”? When I bash my coreligionists, is it your thought that I’m waging a “War on Christianity” or leading to the “decline in morals” in the USA?

Here’s the thing, our views are self-serving. Our world view fits our ideal and not reality. The expression “in a perfect world…” is really how we think things ought to be. That’s a huge problem when the truth smacks us in the face…

The world, by that I mean “my world” is a messy place. It’s full of adapted views, hypocrisy, conflicting politics, built in bias, and a host of failings and mistakes. I’m not always “nice”. I can be profane, callous, and rude. I have to self-edit so I’m not judgmental. I am, mostly, apathetic toward the world at large. *editorial, sorry, I just am*

I’ve learned that I am able to be wrong and survive. I’ve changed views to accommodate personal bias. I’ve come to the conclusion that things are not even close to being as black and white as I would have them…

*deep breath*

So…where does that leave us?

Truth be told, I do what I’m speaking against. This blog, every post, has been “in a perfect world…”

I’m asking something that is hard. I’m asking you to change your views. *sigh* I’m trying to get you to think, “what if I were wrong?” “What if I were the one I dislike?” “What if I were on the receiving end of MY prejudices?” “What if people called me what I call them?”

*sigh*

I’m trying to get you to think, “what if I were wrong?” “What if I were the one I dislike?” “What if I were on the receiving end of MY prejudices?” “What if people called me what I call them?” “How would I react if someone told me I DESERVED to be treated like I treat them and I am supposed to accept it as the nature of things?” “What if I was told I was worthless because I was different?”

I freely admit my bias. I am Pro-Z. Sure, there are things about her SHE would change. I can not think of one I would. I will say it again, if she weren’t worth the effort, I would not write. I’d have lost interest a year ago or more. I AM NOT a “social justice warrior”. I just don’t care that much. The problem is *insert hypocritical view* I have to try to persuade you to see her as a human. I have to try to convince you to see a stranger as a person. If you don’t see her, perhaps, you see someone else. To change Z’s world, I mean to change the world for people I don’t know, too.

That’s the entire point. It is personal. There are more than just LBGT’s. “LBGT” is a demographic made of individuals. If it were as simple as just a string of letters being affected and not discreet humans, it wouldn’t be a problem. Letters don’t care. Letters can be erased, re-written, or ignored. People can not.

I’m asking the hardest thing. I’m asking you to see a “them” as “me”.

*****

I will always be on Z’s side. It is bias that will not change. I am not writing this for LBGT Rights or a Gay Agenda. I am writing for her. Every post has her at the top of my mind…I suppose, though, if you are one of those letters, I’m writing it for you, too.

Finally, I write these for me. I write to remind myself that I have changed and will continue. I write because I have a friend that deserves protection and a voice. I write because I need to.

Addendum to “I’m an Opinionated Jerk”

You want to judge people? Please do. Judge me. Judge Z. Do it based on my views. Do it based on my attitudes. Do it for any damn reason you please. It’s no biggie. I probably don’t like you, either. Do it because I’m straight and the person I write for isn’t. Do it because I wouldn’t trade the one of her for the all of you. Do it because I’m an ex-addict. Any reason you please is fine with me.

Just don’t blame the problems of the world on either of us. We didn’t cause floods or earthquakes. We are not what’s wrong with this country. The world isn’t going to end because I want Z to find a good woman to spend her life with and know she’s out there. Your children’s problems are not caused by Z. Your Christian faith is not under attack by either of us…in fact, we’re both Christians. Deal with it.

I hope you do judge us. I hope you find fault. We aren’t perfect. We’re humans trying to muddle through as best as we can. We’ll live. We’re used to it. Just realize, you aren’t perfect. either. Go figure.

I’m an Opinionated Jerk

Truth be told, I like being a jerk. I enjoy letting my temper go. Being an ass feels good. Problem is, I don’t like that guy much, I mean, the one that gets an adrenaline rush from anger. So, I bite it back and try to decide to be nice. I am, mostly, the nice guy I sometimes have to pretend to be…

I also am not as much of a social person as I appear. I am able to make a thousand excuses not to leave the house. My job forces interaction and teamwork. The rest of the time, I’d prefer not.

I don’t like that many people and, in return, do not expect to be liked by everyone I meet. I am stubborn, opinionated, and grouchy…when I’m not being a goof…My biggest prejudice is stupidity…Did I mention I was arrogant, too?

I felt like I’d list my personality flaws to make a point. *editorial, I have some good traits. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have the people in my life that I do.*

If you don’t want to like me because of those flaws, I’m more than fine with that. If you want to like me for the good parts, that’s also fine.

There really is a point to this. I was reading some moron saying that the flooding in Texas is because of Pagans and gays. I have seen various comments by people blaming the troubles of America on the LBGT population. I have seen that the Duggars protected a child molesting son and are anti-gay. Remember my prejudice against stupidity? These kinds of people fit that description. They, the Duggars and the Nutzo Wack-job branch of my faith, hit my buttons…

Z, Dear Z, fits most of the same personality traits that I have. You want to dislike her for that, go ahead. You don’t like her because she prefers Tequila over Gin, that’s fine, too. Hating, yeah hate, her because she’s gay makes ZERO sense. You’ve never spoken to her. You have no clue what’s in her heart. It’s the same thing as hating her because she’s short.

I know I’m being hypocritical. I hate stupidity. Stupid people can’t help it. They were born that way…unless it is a choice…You can decide to protect a child molester and then claim the moral high ground for your homophobia. That is stupidity by choice. You can blame someone for the weather. That is stupidity by choice. You can say you are defending families and be against people wanting to form families.That is stupidity by choice.

Hate me, if you will, for the choices I’ve made. I decided to be an addict. Nine years and change removed do not change that fact. I have no problem with that hate. I did “destroy the moral fabric”. You can hate me for wanting to be an anti-social jerk. I do that sometimes.

I’m not asking you to like Z, the person. She can be, in her words, “a bit intense”. I am asking you to consider not hating her for what she can not change. She can no more become “un-gay” than she can become “un-short”. Consider that and think, do you want the same standard you apply, hating an intrinsic trait, applied to you?

I suppose that was the entire point…Either admit hypocrisy or change it. I freely admit mine. I have double standards. I will embrace a strongly opinionated loved one and condemn an opinionated stranger. I am a jerk…and a loyal friend. It doesn’t make me any difference if you hate me for any characteristic of my personality or my demographic because it’s directed at me, the individual. Hating a demographic that includes Z without judging each individual as a person is stupid.

I hope this made the tiniest bit of sense. I knew what I was trying to say. I hope you got it. Base hate on individuals and not on prejudices.

I Even Included the Word “Sex” In This One…

I wrote the last one of these in a semi-light hearted tone about kissing girls and playing with boobies. I mean that. Sex is supposed to be fun…and serious. At it’s best, it’s both at the same time. That’s not too much to want for a friend…

Why is it that we think that what someone does in their bedroom is our business? Why do we think we have a right to not be exposed to something that’s against our religion? In all reality, if I see something that goes against the way I see my faith, it strengthens my faith. It makes me consider the reasons why and think them through. If they survive that test, some do and some don’t, then I’ve gained either way.

*****

I suspect that I think more about that than Z does. I probably worry more about what people think about her than she does. I know that all she really wants is to be left alone. I’d say “and not be stared at when she’s out on a date” but, she’s short and cute, people are gonna stare. *grins* I digress…

*****

I do worry, poor word choice, about what she does in her bedroom because I want someone to share it with her. *editorial, she’s single but, don’t ask me for her info. This is not a matchmaking service nor a place where I’ll reveal who she is* I want someone to sit on her couch with her, too. Someone that’s not just sex but, hugs, walks, date night, laundry day, chores, and cooking dinner. I want someone that’s willing to commit for the rest of their lives. So, I am concerned about who she shares her bed with because I’m concerned about who she shares the rest of the house with. Who that person is, is not anyone’s business but theirs. I hope this makes the tiniest bit of sense.

I know that some of my fellow Christians will take issue with me encouraging her to fall in love with another woman. I know they’d be shocked and call me a Heretic for my view. So what? I’m encouraging a human to fall in love with another human. I’m saying that I think being in love is a good thing. I’m saying that I don’t care what gender another human loves. Where is it our business? Where is it our right to say that’s wrong. “But the Bible says…” Yeah, it does. It also says it’s not our place to worry about the mortal soul of another but, to concern ourselves with our own. It says that we are to follow the Laws put in place by men and do what we feel is within our faith within our own households.

I have religious convictions. I also have a strong belief that the Constitution protects all of us. That my convictions are not allowed to be forced on another and their’s are not to be forced on me. Funny that, huh? What right I can not find is a right to not be exposed to something I don’t want to see. I don’t get to ban political cartoons or views I disagree with. I don’t get to tear down institutions that disagree with my personal beliefs. I don’t get to not see people I disagree with. Those are not rights. *editorial, for what it’s worth if you haven’t figured it out, I heartily agree with the way Z lives her life. She’s my friend and I’ll take what exposure to her she shares with me* I for damn sure I don’t have a right to judge someone’s love or their right to be treated equally with me…No one has that right.

I said something up there about kissing girls, playing with boobies, and sex. It isn’t about that. It’s about not being insecure. It’s about being confident in our own faith and our own relationships. Her doing what she does, in private or public, is between her and another adult, whatever their gender. It’s not about “redefining marriage” anymore than Loving v. Virginia was. If marriage is “the state of being united to a person”, then there is no change. Period. If you choose not to support marriage equality, don’t marry someone of the same gender. If you choose to not extend the same protections that you take for granted to “all citizens”, you don’t get that right…

As for me, life’s too fleeting and love’s too precious for me to want to deny it to anyone. A desire for lifetime commitment is too valuable for me to want to deny it to anyone.

*****

If you wanna hold it against Z that she’s attracted to women, then hold it against me because I encourage her. I’ll always have her back. I’ll stand in front of her and write these words. I’ll hope she finds the person of her dreams. I’ll keep saying my prayers that she marries a person that is truly worth her mind, body, and soul. I’ll keep wishing that she finds a partner that she will spend Christian Eternity with. That it’s a woman only makes a difference because that’s how she’s wired and where her attractions are. Not because it diminishes her or her love in the tiniest bit.