Welcome to It…or Two Years and Counting…

I wish…


I know I’ve written this thought before but, I still wish I didn’t have to write this blog. I realize that I am an idealistic naive soul. There is no part of comparing religious bullying to rape that is enjoyable. Not a bit of having to tell my Pagan friends to stay in the “broom closet” to protect themselves is a goal that I ever expected to have. Berating Christians for complaining about alleged victimization toward them while they are earning the rewards of their attacks on other faiths is un-fun…

So, why? Why do I keep at a “project” that I expect to last my lifetime with zero chance of success? Because, for all the first person writing, it isn’t about me. Sure, it’s my perspective but, that’s just the style and point of view. In the very beginning, it was for two very dear people…and the communities they are parts of the Pagan and LBGT communities…and, yeah, for me and my conscience.

WordPress gave me the notification that a couple of days ago was the second anniversary of this blog. In that time, not counting drafts, there have been close to four hundred posts…and I don’t have a clue if any Christian has changed their view as a result. I have gained quite a bit of support from the groups I write for and, in its own way, that is important. It means that at least they are seeing that some few of us do not see them as the “enemy”.

Life is a work in progress. This blog is a continuing extension of that…

To the Heretics that read this, welcome.

To the non-Heretics, I was one of you. I do understand your fears, I just no longer share them. I have learned to not fear. I found out that our faith isn’t what’s under attack, our attitudes are. We get treated like the way we act. If we show love, it’s returned. On the other hand, if our face is intolerant and spiteful, we should expect to get slapped…

To the Pagans, not all of us hate or fear you. It truly sucks that you have been forced into hiding by us. If it is safe, you can change our world…and yours by coming out. We will probably not “get” your views but, we will love you anyway…at least some of us will. Please, please DO NOT assume that we are safe, though. Be careful. I can not say that enough. Your safety is more important than anything else. I know you know that. Still *sigh* I would rather me be a target for my view than you for your faith.


One last, I said up there I hate writing this. That is not entirely correct. I hate the need for it. I love being able to do something to attempt to help make a change that I wish there was no need to make. To that end, we have started a Facebook page for the blog. It uses the same name as the title “Stones in the Middle of the Jordan”. It is an attempt to form some community and a place to come together. It isn’t about me, even though it shares the title with the blog…the blog really isn’t “about” me either as much as it is for y’all. If you do FB and want a way to reach out and discuss, please find us there. It is a “safe” space. It is very pointedly protective of faith, lack of faith, and LBGT’s…in other words, humans. *editorial, it is a brand new page and a work in progress. Please bear with us…or help out by joining and starting conversation*



Dumb Question Time

I’ve written, mostly, about three major themes LBGT Rights, Religious Freedom, and dignity for women. I’ve also written about one minor but, recurring, theme, my past addiction. The question is, in the coming year, what focus? I do not see any major changes coming but, I keep thinking I’ve missed something. NO POLITICS. I try to avoid giving a left/right/libertarian bias so, I’ll avoid that. I write, as a Christian to anyone that will listen either for support or to modify their views. Please respond and I’ll take it under advisement.

You Know Those Thoughts That Wander Through My Head? This Is Another…

Yeah, this is another “not a clue” post…

I am still pondering “labels”. I wonder why we insist on having them? I write these because of labels and descriptions and find myself trying to get away from them. If I were to wear every label that fit, I’m not sure I could even finish the list. I’d just keep adding stuff. Defining who I am is based on the needs of the moment. Here, it is important to point out the fact that I am different than the people I defend and the same as the people I defend them from. Other places and times THAT context doesn’t matter.

I met a nice young Lady, today. She defined herself like this ” I am a bisexual, ex-Mormon, now neo-pagan? (hasn’t really figured out exactly what she is), 23 soon to be 24 year old who is a full-time nanny.” That’s not what I would have said about her. My first thought was what I said. “a nice young Lady”. I still think that. The description she gave also fits, and does not detract but, it isn’t all of her…

Labels are never all of a person. To an outsider, they may be all we want to see. To the person living them, they confine us and restrict us. I can, and sometimes do, wear the label “ex-addict” or “Meth Survivor”. That is nothing close to all of who I am…

The converse is also true. How and what we think of ourselves, how we define ourselves, helps us to fit in. By calling ourselves something, we find community with others like us. We are able to find a place to be in a world that seems endless…

I still don’t know where I’m going with this…

We can use labels to divide. Are you an “us” or a “them”, friend or foe? We call people horrible things without knowing them at all.

Usually, these posts are about being LBGT or Pagan and an “outsider”, me, saying it’s ok to be those. They, the posts, are support for groups, labels, that I am not.

*editorial, usually, by this point in a post, I have an idea of what I’m trying to say. This time I’m really bumping into stuff in the dark…*

I think what I mean is, we ALL have things that define us, our labels. Being LBGT or Pagan or Christian or Straight or any other fairly narrow group is just a bit of who we are. We might pick some of those bits to identify with but, they don’t come close to expressing the whole…I use “straight, Christian, married, male” to define myself here, in this context. I use “Texan” to define my attitudes and heritage. I use “husband” to define the most important job I have and “butcher” to define the next most important. I may use “meat nerd” to define some of my interests. *editorial, I love cooking and what I get paid to do*


Context. Sometimes our own labels depend on the context. I can be a “goof”. That’s what my wife calls me when I’m being one. Sometimes, I can be “you a$$hole”. The labels we pick depend on the context of the moment and the interactions we have. Here, I’m an author. There’s a group of real artists I belong to that call me an “artist” even though I disagree. I have a friend that thinks of me as a “protector” because I pray for her and write for her. In that context, I suppose I am.

Outsiders also impose their own context on the way they define us. They rarely see all of us and NEVER the inside. Yet, they insist that their view and, by extension, definition, must be the correct one…

*sigh again*

This is making my brain hurt. Ugh. I’m not really confused. I’m just finding that, as I write this, that even putting the way that people are labeled refuses to fit into its box…

Where I started was, way up there, with this…”I am a bisexual, ex-Mormon, now neo-pagan? (hasn’t really figured out exactly what she is), 23 soon to be 24-year old who is a full-time nanny”. She gave me what she thought I would think was important. She gave me what she thought was important. She gave me some context for who she was, is, and where she’s going “now neo-pagan? (hasn’t really figured out exactly what she is)”. She defined  herself in the barest of terms giving me reasons, if I chose, to either accept or reject her based on those outlines. Interestingly enough, to me, most of the things that she thought were important to me, aren’t. We all are some form of sexuality…or none. We all have faith…or none. We were born. We have some type of way to generate income. I’ll stick with my view, for now, “nice young Lady” and find my own labels for her. Perhaps, given time, the label “friend” will replace “acquaintance”…

Labels and boxes seem to defy reason. I think I’m going to just let this one taper off here and let it be food for thought. Feel free to tell me what I missed.

Thanks for bearing with this one.


I Want Z Back

Once upon a time… Z was Z. There was no blog. There was no “context”. There was just Z. She wasn’t The Muse. We had no reason to write these. All I knew was she was a “neat”, forgive the dated expression I’m 52, Christian Lady I enjoyed talking to. Played a stupid Facebook game and met her. *Ditched the game and kept Z*…

I miss that. I want Z back.

I want to not write stuff intended to try to persuade or jolt people into realizing that prejudice is wrong.  I want to not think there’s a need to protect Z from voices that repress. I want an end to politicians using her as a tool to gain office by pandering to hate.  I want but, don’t expect, sanity to break out. I want. I want I want.


No more posts about kissing girls and boobs. No more posts about Christians and Pagans and LBGT’s and straights. No more posts about the Constitution. No more trying to convince. No more having to talk about one tiny part of a person. No more embarrassingly personal questions to Z. No more spending hours worrying how I’m going to say…one more time…”give it a break and find something else to be against”

*sigh again*

I’m gonna keep writing. Still, I want Z back. I miss my friend.

Fired for What?

Suppose this conversation happened to you…”I grilled some steaks for my wife. They were great” “Cool, glad you enjoyed your day off”

Now suppose it went like this…”I grilled some steaks for my wife. They were great” “You’re fired”

How would you react to that? In Texas, the law is that anyone has the right to be married. It also says that a married person may be fired for being married…assuming they’re LBGT.

I understand that some people will never understand that they have the right to think as they will and should never act on those thoughts.

I understand that some that share my faith don’t think being LBGT is “normal”. I get that they think that Religious Freedom should equal the right to discriminate. That they think it is fine to address someone as “abomination” or “sinner” or “Offense Against God” directly to their face. I get that they think that someone should be fired for being gay. That it’s perfectly fine to deny housing. I get it. I will never agree with it.

What you do inside your church is protected. Who you associate with is protected. How you think is protected. Those are no excuse for how you act outside of those confines. Decency, simple decency, dictates that we treat others with dignity and respect…even if we believe that they are indecent. Fairness and equality demand that we share the same rights we expect with “all citizens”. It isn’t “extra rights”. It’s “equal rights”. It is, do we make sure that we want all citizens treated with the same rights or are we so hypocritical as to believe that we are different and others are somehow less than us.

I worry for Z. I’d love it if she could be a Texan but, *she won’t, her roots are far away* I’d never encourage it. We, Texas, has this misguided belief that we are strengthening ourselves by making others weaker. *sigh* I don’t get that at all. How do we gain strength by telling some of our citizens that they have no worth. How do we gain common ground by constantly pointing out the differences? Where is our own worth when, to build ourselves up, we take away from others?

I’m glad there’s a “Gay Pride” movement. I’m glad that there’s a sense of community there. I’m glad because some of us straight folks seem to think that we are better. I’m glad that someone besides me is willing to say, “There’s nothing wrong with you being gay. I’m glad that you are. I love you just the way God created you”. That way Z knows that not all of us are jerks.

*editorial, I know there are a bunch more than me. I know all straight people are NOT hypocritical jerks. If you’re not one, apologies. Not trying to paint with a generalization. Also, not all of us Christ Followers, are anti-LBGT*


You know, it’d be a silly d**n thing to get fired for grilling for your wife. When it can not happen, I’ll quit writing. Till then, I’m gonna keep on…and hope for a wife for Z.


note to self


I’ve been writing this post over a period of several days. I’m leaving it “rough” because it was really intended to be a note to me. It turned into a “real” post. It is barely edited and going to stay that way. Guys, I’m beat. Tired. Worn out. These are what has come out of my head. Sure, it’s a post about people that are LBGT.  It’s also about a specific person and it’s really a post about us. How do we see people and how do we see ourselves. If we don’t find a reason to stop our fear of people that are different, we, collectively, are going to implode. We gotta find common ground, please.


It starts out with the notes I was working from. It seems disjointed after that because I didn’t do any editing or try to make it completely connected…

It drifts off at the end and that’s gonna have to be enough. Thanks for reading it.


more honey than vinegar…gently persuade…patience…time…less stress about people not seeing what I see…want to build a bunker with concertina wire and protect Z but, CAN NOT…Z more patient than me, gotta learn from her…hearts and minds…fight reaction to be a growling dog protecting The Muse…


These are the things The Muse wants me to do. She wants me to realize that people won’t change just because the Law did. She wants me to be patient and try to change “hearts and minds” with kindness and being non-confrontational.

It’s hard for me. I do take words that are directed at other people than her as being directed at her. My instinct is to protect her from those words and perceived hurts. My desire is to shelter. Given my way, I’d be a dog, growling at everyone I thought came close to not loving her.

I know that’s not fair to her. She can defend herself. She is more than strong enough and completely capable.

She’s protecting me. She’s trying to make me understand that I don’t need the stress. That the frustration is not good for me. She’s trying to change my “heart and mind”. See why she’s such a Treasure. This is why. I write for and about her and she’s my protector, too…A couple of stories…

During May and June, we had a bunch of storms and flooding. Here, D/FW, it was particularly bad. I’m used to it, at least as much as you can ever be to Tornado Warnings. She was constantly calling and praying. One night we were talking and lost the chat because a lightning strike close by dumped my internet. I wasn’t worried. Again, I’m kind of relaxed about the whole thing. It either hits and is a total loss or it’s a miss. SHE, on the other hand, was worried as she could be. I had to phone her up and let her know everything was fine, just a lost signal…See what I mean, protecting me…

‘Nother part of me is that I tend to stress and worry about random stuff. In an absence of knowledge, my mind races along ’till it’s close to twisting outta control. Not a good trait of mine. I let myself wind up. I tend to inflict it on her and my wife. She peels me off the ceiling. Lets me rant and then reminds me to calm down. That it’ll be ok. Helps me to realize my fears and worries are unfounded…

My Protector helps me to be a better husband and person by doing something that isn’t her job. She’s not my wife or girlfriend so, it can’t be part of what one of those would have “signed-up” for. *editorial, no girlfriend for me, ever. I’m married and faithful* She allows me to use her as a safety valve. To dump MY stress on her. To relate my nightmares to her so I can be a bit saner. She prays for me every day and, usually, is praying for stuff that I didn’t realize I needed ’till it happens. My world is safer because of Z…

It’s an odd role reversal. I mean, these words and posts have been to help her and make her world a better place. They’ve been to build her up. That’s in here and out there. They’ve been to tell her that, to me, she’s a Hero. I’m sure she doesn’t think she is. I do. Thing is, she makes my world a better place. She builds me up. She never lets me get away with saying that what I’ve done *see previous posts about being an ex meth addict* is not also worthy of praise, too. I don’t quite understand but, she treats me like a hero…

So…how do we go about this? How do we change hearts and minds? Bashing people over the head is not working. That is my instinct. To pick up Z, shove her into the spotlight, and shout “how can you fools not love her?” To use her as a bludgeon. She’s right. That is not the way that’s going to make a long-term change.


A “pride” parade didn’t change my mind. A screaming rights activist didn’t give me reason to see the error of my ways. What did was more like the mountains being turned into sand by the gradual actions of the waves. I didn’t have some epiphany. It was a process. It took some years. Lots of baby steps and realizations. Z came along towards the end. She wasn’t the first step but, the last. She was the end of a line of people. She says “educate”. Her life is that way. She teaches by being herself. I should know, it’s how she taught me…

We were friends before I knew she wasn’t straight. Kind of an “how’s that?” moment, right? No context for it. I’m married, wasn’t when we met but, engaged. I didn’t want or need a date, girlfriend, or anything else. She was just someone I talked to sometimes. We’re both “chatty”. Ugh. So, it never really had a reason to be a topic. I was talking to a person and not a potential anything else. When she finally did let me know or I figured it out by reading between the lines, it was a bit of a shock…for about a day. Then my I realized nothing had changed. Same person was still the same person. I mean, we had been praying for each other for a couple of years and I didn’t know. She might have thought I knew? Ask her.

That’s how she “educates”. She lives her life and at some point you realize she’s a person you want in yours. Easy enough, knowing her. Because there’s no context, you don’t realize she’s not straight. Not that she’s hiding it, just no reason to come up. I thought she was a fellow Ally. Then she tells you. She is blunt. At which point you realize nothing has changed in your relationship.

She’s far better at that than I am. I want to shout at people. I want to force them to realize that she’s great. She just goes about her business and lets them figure it on their own.

Here’s another odd thing about the way she educates. Even though she doesn’t like it, she’s far more forgiving of people that dislike her on principle than they are of her. She’ll defend their right to speak against her while she’s snarling mad at them for doing it. That and even though she’ll never admit it, the comments hurt. Still, she keeps defending their right to speak if not their words…

****Break to go to work and stuff. more later******

Here’s what I’m thinking. For me, it becomes a matter of perception. I mean, what do I see when I look at someone? Do I see the part I disagree with and ignore the rest, first? Or, do I do it the other way ’round? Do I see the parts I agree with and ignore the disagree? There are things that I do that Z doesn’t. She doesn’t beat me up with them, she ignores them. Same with me, there are things she does that I can not have in my life. No matter, I just stay away from those things. Make sense, sort of?

She’s human with the same courage and fear as any other human. She’s capable of the same soaring triumphs and crushing defeats. She’s a mother, daughter, cousin and friend. She can be as soft as a cloud and harsh as sandpaper. She’s just the same as every other Mortal. Her fears and frailties keep her up at night…just like mine…Her shoulders carry me along when I want to quit. Human, no more and no less…That’s what I see and am glad for it.

Everyone is the same way. No two people fit the same mold. There are always things we wish people would change.


While I’m writing this, here’s another thought. We, Americans, are constantly, me specifically, saying what we are against. Maybe we can think of what we are for. I’ve written all these words for Z. I’ve written to her, about her, and for her. My weakness is that I have to struggle against the “us against them” attitude. How do we include? How do we find common ground? How do we say, “you’re different but…so am I.”

I gotta learn that lesson. I gotta learn to not want to lash out. Me, I, need to be more gentle in the way I think and try to teach. Particularly, I gotta do that when my instinct is to protect.  A Wise Woman keeps telling me that I can do more with honey than vinegar. She’s right.

I wish I didn’t write these. More correctly, I like writing good things about Z. What I mean is I wish I didn’t think there was a need for them. I wish that we could find some middle path. That we could agree to reduce our total stress. That we could figure out a modus vivendi and learn to live in peace. I’m idealistic, I know. I keep thinking that we have the ability to set aside our perceptions and see what is really true. I know I struggle against myself with that. It is hard. I had to overcome years of conditioning and prejudice. I do not even pretend otherwise.


I suppose I’m just getting tired. I don’t have the energy to spare on fights that aren’t mine. It could be said that this one isn’t except that it is Z. That, to me, as long as she lives and I do, I have picked her side to be for, not against. Not because she’s a Lesbian but, because of the rest of her. I’m writing for the whole of the person that she is. I wonder if that makes sense outside of my head? That my attempt to persuade to see the whole still includes the parts and says the whole is “greater than the sum”?

Please learn from what I had to learn to do. I removed the good because I wanted to see only what I disagreed with. I based my opinion, not on fact but on my perception. My views were wrong. My excuses, in the end, only let me hang on to anger and stress and changed nothing. She says she “educates” by living her life. Please learn from mine, too. My mistakes don’t have to be repeated.

How Did This Turn Into 1600 Words? I Was Just Going to be a Smarta$$

Some bits of thoughts…

Good Lord, Happy People, it’ll be ok. It really will. *deep breath*

They’re really not out to change your world. They want to change theirs. Luckily enough, it did…

That whole “slippery slope to (fill in the blank)”, I took a poll. Meaning, I asked some friends. They don’t support that stuff any more than you do…They said, specifically, that they do not believe the age of consent should be lowered due to “maturity” issues, that close relations marrying have a host of genetic issues for the children, and they tend to be monogamous by nature…

So, after the “slippery slope” questions, I asked a follow-up, “Have you ever tried to ‘convert’ a straight person?” The answer was a uniform, “Nope…no desire to convert anyone…waste of energy!” So, based on my asking directly, I’d say that set of fears are unfounded.

I gotta tell y’all…I am, often, the only male, the only conservativish/libertarianish, the only Christian, and the only straight person, in a conversation. Generally, most of the people in the conversation are Ladies and either Pagan, Lesbian, or both. Mostly, they’re Liberalish. Given all that, I am more comfortable and less judged for my beliefs and politics with them than I am by people that fit MY OWN demographic. Hunh? Yeppers, Bucko. Funny how that works, right? The folks that my “demographic” is still trying to find ways to condemn and repress is less judgemental, and has greater reason to be, of me than my own group. Y’all wonder why I like them better than my own demographic? It ain’t because I’m a “traitor”. It’s because my group is a bunch of judgemental twerps.

Here’s another difference between me and a bunch of people, when I have a question, I ask it. I mean, the stuff up there, those comments on the slippery slope stuff, I went to some friends and asked those questions. No beating around the bush, just “do you believe that…?” “Have you ever…?” I’m not big on ambiguity and I know some people that know me well enough to not take offense when I ask.

‘Nother question I asked, “did you choose to be gay?” Again, the answer is a simple “no”. There are some background and personal details involving trying to fit societies expectations but, they don’t matter and are private. The simple answer is no one chooses to be gay. I don’t even know how that should be questioned. I mean, do straight people decide, one day, “I’m not sure if I was born gay or straight so, I think I’ll be straight”. In the words of Homer Simpson, “Doh!”…

I mean, Geeze Louise, all of these questions and thoughts are responses to the junk that I’ve been reading. Maybe that’s my problem, I spend too much time reading stuff. It makes me wonder about my own tiny bit of sanity. Just entertaining the thought that someone could think some of this stuff really boggles my “tiny pea brain”…


Here’s something else that’s been rolling through my head…I write these blogs because I can. I mean, Miller, straight, white, conservativish/libertarianish, middle-aged, Christain, male can. I can’t be accused of having Lib/Prog bias or being sucked in to the “gay agenda” because, I don’t really blindly follow anyone or any ideology. I form my views by considering and pondering. I have a tendency to be “undecided” for years. I don’t jump on bandwagons. I also consider them from the perspective of ALL of the internal biases of the demographic I belong to. When I reach a conclusion, I have to be comfortable with it and I tend to be “mentally lazy” meaning, I LIKE my thought paths and “ruts”. I don’t want to have to change my perspective or outlook.

I have a bunch of Pagan friends, they are not going to turn me Pagan. I like Christianity. It fits me. Having said that, I’m not trying to condemn or convert them, either. If for some reason, they decide to give Christianity a shot because not all Christians are “judgemental twerps”, that’s cool with me. This should have been inserted before the last sentence. I don’t know the “workings” of Paganism for beans. I don’t really want to know the holidays, rituals, rites, or anything else. I have a broad understanding of it from asking some questions. Some of it I agree with, the part about Nature being an “aspect”, some I don’t. Like I say, really doesn’t matter because, in general, becoming Pagan holds no appeal to me. Nothing against it, just not my cut of meat.

Likewise, I have a bunch of friends that are girls that like girls. They don’t have to convert me, my wife is a girl. *grins* What I also don’t have is an attraction to the same sex. No biggie. It doesn’t affect my relationship with them. I’m not going to pretend that I like every person I’ve ever met that’s LBGT. I also don’t like every straight person I ever met. Jerks abound in the world and cross all demographic borders. Having said that, I’m comfortable around them. Those questions I asked in my poll some paragraphs before, I asked them straight out. Didn’t beat around or hint or ask PC or evasive. Asked “did you choose to be gay?” Asked, “do you think the age of consent should be lowered?” Asked, “have you ever tried to convert a straight person?” I fully expected honest answers to each question without evasion. I got honest answers. See the quote thingies? I quoted the answers. My demographic tends to be far more evasive and conditional, “I didn’t decide to be straight but, I think being gay is a choice and they could change back if they wanted to…” See why I like hanging out with them better? Also, hanging out with them reassures my wife. *grins* I know she knows I’m COMPLETELY faithful but, why push things. There’s no question of temptation if there’s no question of temptation. Does that make sense?

*big inhale/exhale*

Anyway…like I was trying to get to right after the “*****” thingy, I write these for them…and Z…and you…because, when I write, it’s not defensive. I can’t be seen as a member of the LBGT community writing anti-straight propaganda. There’s no chance I’ll ever be Lib/Prog and so that bias is out. I’m Christian, so, it’s hard to say I’m “attacking” the Christian Church when I point out individual attitudes.

All that translates to me writing for a minority group…or two…because they need to be seen the way I see them, not as a threat to the existential ‘Merican Way of Life. They really aren’t. In my experience, they tend to be Patriotic. Hell, Folks, they had to work to gain Rights that straight Christians take for granted. Think on that, they had to prove themselves to you. Wonder how you’d feel if it were the other way ’round?

They are people with a strong sense of morality. Yeah, I get it, you disagree because you think what two adults, of the same gender, do in the bedroom is immoral. Get over it and shut down your imagination. They think we’re uchy, too. I digress…They are Law Abiding, Tax Paying, Politically Active folks. Their hate of crimes against children is at last equal to yours. Their desire for law and order equals yours. Their want to be safe from “crimes against persons” is the same as yours. They tend to want the same monogamy that you do. The only difference is that they don’t see you as immoral like you see them.

So, yeah, back to where was I…I write for them because I should. There should be one blue collar Texan male writing for his friends. It isn’t defensive for me to write this stuff. I’m not “stridently defending myself”. I’m just trying to convince you, politely *grins, this really is me being polite and nice* to not be so worried. I mean, come on Happy People, get over yourselves. Try talking to the folks I know. If you’re a straight guy, hanging with Lesbians is fun. *grins* We get, and make, the same jokes…I suppose, if you were a straight girl hanging with gay men would be fun, too. Don’t know, I don’t fit either of those. *grins again* Relax a tiny bit. Keep your religion at church and meet some people that aren’t the same as you. Quit thinking it’s your place to make the world conform to your vision and concentrate on yourself.

Other “oh yeah” moment to add to the end…I have NEVER asked the Ladies about the mechanics of s e x. It really isn’t my business. I’m really not curious about how it works in the LBGT world. I assume it involves some form of physical and emotional closeness. I suspect a hug or a kiss feels just as good. I think that holding hands is a bonding thing for them, too. Those things mean, in the end, it’s the same for them as it is for me and Sweety. That touching the person you love is still the Best Thing in the World. That is the truth for everyone…


Criminy Christmas, more than 1600 words of stuff bouncing around, today. I was just gonna write some one-liners and stuff. I hope this helps. Maybe there’s more understanding gained by asking and pondering? Y’all think about this stuff and find your own path. I stumbled into this one.I like it. I’ll keep on plugging along and hope for the best.

Thanks to K, S, and D for answering my blunt and personal questions.

Your Objections Have Been Noted, Here’s My Rebuttal…


I gotta go back to this…

I was looking. Depending on the poll, roughly 6% of the population of the US is LBG. Broken down, roughly 1.7% Lesbian, 1.7% gay, 1.8% Bisexual. Again, that is, roughly, 8 million people, total. There are some variances in the surveys and the numbers…In the US, roughly 83% identify as Christian. That is, roughly, 264.5 million.

Why is it so hard to figure out? A “Gay Army” is not out to destroy Christianity. Assuming that some portion of the 8 million are Christian, lets use half and make it lower than the stats would suggest, that leaves 4 million. By what reach of imagination do we get to this war against us?


Holy Birdbrain, Batman. Even if the numbers were doubled, there wouldn’t be enough. Even if they cared enough to be out to get you, odds are by the time they got to you, they’d be worn out from trying.


“But my Bible says…” Yeah, I have one, too. I read mine, too. I read the spot where Moses brought down the Law. No words about being gay there. I read the Laws Jesus gave us…

“28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”

29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one.[a] 30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’[b] 31 The second is this: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’[c] There is no commandment greater than these.” ”  Mark 12:29-31

There is no ambiguity there. Those are the rules. No exceptions. Anything else is against the words of Christ. I read some preacher, wish I remembered who, say, “Jesus and the Bible hate gays”. Ok, I’ll play, where in the Bible did JESUS say that. Look in the bits that have red letters, those are his words. Find a quote. Cite chapter and verse. No, you don’t get to paraphrase or “read between the lines”, quote the verse, I’ll wait…Never mind, there’s no point, Jesus never said those words.

“But Paul said…” Ok, I’ll play, Paul is NOT the Son of God. He wrote his opinion. Period. The Words of Jesus should be every Christian’s “default mode”. If they aren’t, we have vastly different ideas of what being a Christian is…


Ok, next point and arguments…

“They want to redefine marriage”…How? By saying that they want to make a lifetime commitment? Ah no. Your objection has been noted. “But marriage is for procreation…” So, you are saying a paraplegic can not be married, either. You are saying my marriage is invalid because we are, and will be, childless. “But marriage is a CHRISTIAN institution…” So, you invalidate every couple that is not Christian’s marriage. Tell that to the other 17% of the population that isn’t Christian.

Those objections have been noted and rejected.


Final objection…

They are re-interpreting the Constitution…How? The Constitution has not one single word about marriage in it. It does have some specific wording, though, “Section 1. All persons born or naturalized in the United States, and subject to the jurisdiction thereof, are citizens of the United States and of the State wherein they reside. No State shall make or enforce any law which shall abridge the privileges or immunities of citizens of the United States; nor shall any State deprive any person of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws.” The words you are looking for are “No State “,”citizens”, “due process of law”, and “nor deny to any person within its jurisdiction the equal protection of the laws”. There is not the tiniest bit of wiggle room. There are ZERO exceptions listed. Not “citizens except the gay ones”, just “citizens”. Period. That is the strictest possible way to read it. If your straight Christian marriage is protected, so is every other one. Period.

“Blah blah blah slippery slope to pedophiles or livestock or appliances…” etc. If you are so thick skulled and obtuse as to think that a predatory criminal act is the moral equivalent of a non-criminal act between adults, then there’s no point in trying to reason with that point. You failed the test.



Look, here’s the bottom line, it’s done. It won’t be undone. No matter how much you whine, it’s over.

For what it’s worth, I’ll admit my bias, again. I’m a married, straight, Christian man. My best friend is a single, Lesbian, Christian. She’s no threat to you. She doesn’t want you to do something that makes you feel your religion is under threat. She’s the first one to jump to your right to your beliefs. She’ll be the first one to defend your right to all the non-PC comments you want to make. She was a soldier. She went into Iraq during the First Gulf War. She probably thinks more of the Constitution than you do because she swore an oath to defend it and never quit that oath. I promise she’s more conservative than you ever thought about being. She doesn’t want “special” privileges just “equal protection” since she is a “citizen”. That’s not too much to ask.

You can keep your objections. They have been noted. The War on Marriage, the Judicial Over-reach,  The Against My Religion, allow me to be blunt…or ignore me, I really don’t care. You are being paranoid. That victim mentality you want to use to repress a minority of the population looks ugly on you.


Sorry for the tone of this post. I’m really not angry, just worn out. I love Z. Yeppers, freely admit that I love another woman that isn’t my wife. I hope she does find a woman worth her and get married. *Editorial, loving a girl that likes girls isn’t a threat to my marriage. Nothing is because my wife ALWAYS will be the love of my life* I take it personally, far more than Z does, when I read how she’s going to be the “downfall of ‘Merica”. I take the perception that she’s a threat to people she defends as an insult to her. She earned better treatment than that. So, I HAD to write a rebuttal to the stupidity and hate that I see.

If none of my answers apply to you, pose an argument that is valid, not defensive.

If my answers defend your rights, that was our point. I’ll always have Z’s back…and yours.

In the end, it really is that simple, we are not allowed to judge the quality of an adult’s love for another adult. We are not given the right to demean or devalue someone for being different. We, the majority, should be protecting the minorities. We are, ultimately, ALL minorities because, we are all individuals. When I stand before God, he’s only going to show me the value of MY soul, not yours. My actions and thoughts are the ones I answer for. How I treated the ones I love, not who you loved…that’s it. We were born alone and we’ll die alone. In the middle, we should try to walk in peace with each other…

Thanks for taking the time to read this.

Thanks to Shane Turner for allowing me to use this image. Find him here.

Thanks to Shane Turner for allowing me to use this image. Find him here.