humility

Let Someone Else be Amazing

I don’t want to be amazing.

Aj and Z won’t quit bugging me. They keep telling me I’m amazing. It’s not that I have a bad self-image, it’s just that I don’t want to live up to that standard. I really do like who I am. I have some great traits. I’m loyal, smart, hard-working, and honest. I’ll stand up for my friends and do my best to encourage them and build them up in public or in private. I strive to be the best husband I am capable of being. I’ve got a sense of humor that lets me laugh at almost everything, including myself. I’ve gotten past addiction and survived mostly sane. Those things aren’t amazing. They’re just part of me.

I’m also lazy, profane, hypocritical, a slob, judgmental and cynical. I don’t pay attention when I drive and my diet is mostly meat or snacks. I have to fight back my anger.

I’ll be happy to be myself. I said it up there, I like who I am. Being me isn’t amazing. It’s fun. I enjoy that I’ve got friends and a wife that are comfortable enough with me, and me them, that they can tease mercilessly. I love that I have people that I trust enough to listen to…even if I have to write a post like this to disagree. I’m not being hard-headed…well, maybe I am a bit. I just see things differently.

Amazing is a hard standard. Amazing doesn’t give me any wiggle room for my off days. Sometimes I do stuff that makes me think “what kind of idiot?…” I suppose some of those count as “amazing” *sigh*
Besides, if I’m amazing that doesn’t give me a word for the people that amaze me. There are people in the world that raise kids as a single mom. There are people that put their lives on the line to defend our country. There are people that run into burning buildings or cars. There are people with artistic talents that enrich our lives. There are scientists that probe the mysteries of the universe and the world around us. Those people are amazing. The women in my world that I look up to are amazing.
Look, I know y’all are trying to help. I love y’all to pieces. I know that good things have come out of my life and more will. Let’s just find a different word. My ego doesn’t need to be amazing to feel good about myself. I have “my collection of Yankee women” to remind me that I’m loved. I have my faith to do the same.
I’ll make y’all a deal, I’ll be Miller. Miller is a good guy. Miller is semi-normal and well loved. That’s more than I ever expected and enough to make me happy. Fair enough?
Advertisements