Men’s Rights

Victim Blaming

I keep trying to write this post…and keep hitting a stopping spot…I’ll try again…

There is a candidate for Senate that has some allegations of forcing himself on a 14 year old girl 40 years ago. I keep reading comments that say, paraphrase, “why did she wait 40 years? It MUST be political” 40 years ago, the common defense to a charge like that was to blame HER for HIS actions. Even now, she is being doxed and having death threats…

I was reading, on a slightly different note, a discussion of men making undesired advances and the person that wrote the article used the phrase “creepy guy”. The conversation went from being about respecting the right of the woman to refuse to being one about what constitutes a “creepy guy” and denying that the Men’s Rights Movement exists.

*exhale*

I’m having a hard time getting past my own anger and disgust so, short words for stupid people…

NO MEANS NO.

Abusing or being in a position of power and using that to proposition a woman is wrong. What was she going to do? How could she refuse him without him lashing out? Hint, being coerced DOES NOT EQUAL CONSENT.

If you have to ask what defines the phrase “creepy guy” odds are, YOU ARE HIM. Denying that the Men’s Rights Movement exists is one of the bigger loads of Horses**t that there is. Justifying it is even worse.

Telling myself to slow down…didn’t work…

What in the hell are you thinking? Women have been coerced for all of time. Most of the women I know, rephrase, every one that has said anything about it to me, has been in that spot. Every. Single. One.

I am NOT a feminist. Don’t need to be. That implies lesser capability. The ones I know are NOT less capable…

What I am is a realist. Not every man has done this stuff. I haven’t. Period. I am not excising some personal guilt. I am speaking as a Man to say no wonder women fear us. Males, the half of the planet that is generally stronger, have forced ourselves on women. We have given them reasons to fear and resent us. Do I really need to rehash all the BS we have, over the length of time, put them through?

It isn’t really about “politics”. Respecting the dignity of another human is basic Adult 101. Not causing fear is the next lesson…or maybe even the first.

F**k me…How hard is the damn lesson?

Ladies, I can’t fix it. Sorry. Apologies for the profanity-laden diatribe. There are some, most I think, kind and decent males in the world. I am sorry that some of my sub-human brethren exist and that you’ve had to bear the brunt of their insecurities and frail egos. Not all of us demand your fear or obeisance. Most of us would prefer that you are what and who you are, capable and strong.

Men, she doesn’t owe you a d**n thing. She doesn’t owe you sex or respect. Those are earned. When you do earn those, you have a treasure beyond price. When you steal sex and force deference, your treasure is like ashes…

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She’s a Slut, B***h, Dyke, or a Whore?

“She has to be one of them, right? I mean, any guy could see that. She’ll sleep with ANYONE”…except for me …”Maybe she’s a Dyke?”…or it could be that she isn’t…

We have a huge double standard that has been given tacit approval by most of the guys I know. We, the reasonable guys, keep our mouths shut.

I’m no one’s excuse for a Feminist. I don’t need to be. The women I know and love are more than capable of competing with any guy in any arena that doesn’t involve brute strength. They don’t need me to say “she is Woman, hear her roar…”

So…here’s my take, for what it’s worth…

Let’s get the easiest out of the way first…She might be gay. In that case, deal with it. There’s nothing wrong with either of you…

Second, she might have just gotten out of a relationship, either good or bad, and isn’t dating/sleeping with anyone…again, no reflection on either of you…

Third, she might not be dating because she’s going to school or working on a career and doesn’t have time in her life…

Fourth, you might be an a$$hole or stink or any of a million other reasons like you’re a moron. In which case, the problem is YOU.

Of course, since the original premise is men complaining about women not having sex with them, the odds are greatly in favor of option four…

Here’s the deal. We have NO right to the use of another person’s body. There is no right to sex. Period. We have no right to demean or degrade another person just to feed our ego. That some guys think that they do is just so much horses**t. *editorial, to write bits of this, I had to look into the Men’s Rights nonsense. I wish I hadn’t*

I freely admit my bias. My closest friends are women. I have siblings, cousins, and a Mom that are all women. I don’t really think I have a “feminine side” but, I enjoy the company of women, most of the time, more than men. *editorial, I don’t “get” fashion but, that doesn’t matter one way or the other* As a result, I tend to side with them more than I do with a bunch of b***hy whiner guys that are really egotistic misogynist twerps.

Look guys, deal with it. Put your ego on hold…or don’t…either way, realize that SHE has just as much right to dignity as you do. Figure out that, if you continue to be a jerk, you’ll never be in a relationship because you’ll chase away any person you might stand a chance with. Take some time and step back. Examine yourself and stop blaming others. Get over yourself…

*editorial, most men are reasonable, so this is not a blanket indictment of men. Please don’t take it that way*