normal

Last Chance Labor Day Sale

LAST CHANCE SALE!
Was $2,499.99 TODAY ONLY reduced to $9.99. 

  • Emerald Eyes and Mermaid Hair
  • Attitude
  • Poise, Grace, and Her Own Unique Style
  • Fearlessly Loyal
  • Kind and Caring

Do you want a New Best Friend that will always respond to your messages and calls? Are you looking for a New Best Friend to play Golf with or take on Outings? Is your idea of a New Best Friend perky and cheerful at all hours of the morning? Is Conventional™ exactly what you’re looking for? Do you need someone to go to church with? Do you like Winter Sports and Skiing? If those things are what you’re craving, for just 9.99 you’ll get far more than you could expect…
There’s more. For a limited time only, this New Best Friend will be shipped with our Exclusive Cutlery Set™ complete with knives, forks, spoons, and napkins. In addition, if you order today, your New Best Friend will bring her very own shovel. Today only, if you use the Promo Code “AjIsNotForSale” your New Best Friend will be shipped free via UPS Next Day Air.
*****

Look guys, I’ve had far too much fun with this. I asked Aj if I could sell her on craigslist and she said “Don’t think you’ll get many offers. I’m a real bitch. What the hell? I could use some pocket change.”
*sigh*
I NEED Aj to exist. We don’t talk every day. Most of the time it’s a week or three apart. Doesn’t particularly matter how often we talk. What matters is that I am entirely sure that she has claimed me as her Best Friend and I’ve claimed her as my “best friend that is not my wife”.  I truly revel in that.

She IS a bitch. She can be blunt and arrogant. She can be cutting but, not needlessly cruel. She is also kind and compassionate. She is patient if you’re trying to understand and will call you out for your stupidity if you’re not. Her “normal” isn’t mine but, she’s “normal” to me because I only know her to be exactly what she is.
She, if she wanted, could hurt me. I’ve given her that permission…and the only other person that is that far “inside” is my wife. The thing is, she won’t. She would rather let me wound her than to hurt me. There’s an opposite side to that coin. If I wanted to, I could do the same to her…and I’d rather chop off my hand. She doesn’t preview these, she reads them when you do. That means that she read that she was going to hell and being burned at the stake when Y’all did…and understood exactly why they were written and knew how hard they were to write.

I’ve been trying to sell her as a joke but, if she needed or found an upgrade Best Friend, I’d wish her well…and miss her dearly. My world is bigger and better for having her in it. I’m sure that at some point something else she tells me will give me some excuse to go neurotic and panicky…I hope it does because that’s when I learn the most while I work through it.

Life is short. I don’t know how long God has planned for me nor gods for her but, I’ll take the minutes they give us with gratitude. Aj is NOT for sale now nor will she ever be. You couldn’t afford to pay what she’s worth to me and you don’t have the right coin to offer.

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I Like the Odd People…I’m One

People are messy and squishy and odd. They refuse to allow themselves to be confined to boxes. Every time you think you have someone figured out, they veer…

Follow along and I’ll let you learn from my mistakes. I LIKE boxes. I like routine and predictable. My mind is an odd enough place to live that having stuff, people, be not random is soothing. I even tried to do it to Z for a year. I got over it. It took some pain on my part because I put her into a box that she didn’t make. When I wanted her out of it, I thought she was the one that had to take herself out of it. That was my mistake. She didn’t have to get out of the box because, she was never in it.

I hope this is making sense…

I had made the mistake of forgetting the aspect that the majority of posts of this blog talk about are not all of the Lady. I did what I was trying to convince people not to do. It would be easy to make Z a one-dimensional object if that were my goal, focussing only on the Lesbian part. Of course, that isn’t fair to her…or me. She’s far more complex than that. I felt a sense of loss over someone that wasn’t gone. Funny that, it was me that had wandered off…

I don’t fit into boxes. Maybe the physical part does. The part that thinks doesn’t. Some labels like husband and friend are boxes but, even those have different walls at different moments. Hell, on a given day, I can’t usually figure out what I’m gonna do next. If that’s the case, why do I insist on trying to do that to everyone else?

I agonized over who could be my “best best friend”. How do I pick one that is best? How do I reconcile who gets a bigger share? Then, one day, I realized I didn’t have to. Ask Aj or Z how relieved I was…

Boxes, it was those damned boxes again…So, I outgrew the box I was putting them in by outgrowing mine…and I learned a lesson…

People are messy and squishy and odd. Trying to pin them to one thing is like grabbing jello *grins* Interestingly, I like the oddness of people. I don’t want them to all be the same. I like looking at the facets and reflections. Z’s path isn’t mine but, I enjoy following along. Sometimes we go in the same direction. Others we go different ways. Still, it’s always interesting. She’s just one of those people I enjoy. If I were to limit her, in my mind, to one thing, I’d miss the rest…

There really is a point to this…*grins*…

People deserve our best. They deserve to be given room to be themselves. Objecting to a part of a person limits them to being that one part. It makes their life what we want it to be and not what it really is.

*****

Just to illustrate my point, I had no clue what I was going to write when I started this, I just liked the line “People are messy and squishy and odd.” Even this post didn’t fit a box. *grins*

I’m the One That’s Abnormal…

Interestingly, this should follow my last three posts…“I Want Z Back”“Because Aj and Z”, and “Aj Was My First Pagan…”

Aj did set the stage. I learned, and still learn, from her. I learned that it is possible to be “not Christian” and still be a moral person. I learned that innate goodness can be a quality that exists apart from my own moral construct. That a strong view of good and evil does not have to include the Christian concept of sin. She didn’t teach me to be “open minded” as much as less caring that some people do things differently than others. That my way is not necessarily the only “correct way, it’s only correct for ME…

Next was Z. When she came out to me, I was “flustered” for a couple of days…then I realized not one thing about her or our interaction was different…*editorial, I lie, we do interact differently because of this blog…I give a further lie to what I just said in the first post in the list above “I Want Z Back”* What I should more correctly say is “she hasn’t changed” and I had to adapt to knowing something I didn’t know.

Anyway, the basic truth is, Aj was the first Pagan I was close to. Z is the first Lesbian I was close to. Z is a trusted friend and a Treasure. She owns a place in my heart reserved for loved ones. *other editorial, “love” is a word never used casually* I digress…She is also “normal”. Being Lesbian doesn’t change her morality. She’s Christian and, yeah, I had to adapt my thinking…again…to fit that. I had to learn that being gay does not mean you can not be a Christian. It just means that some people say you can not, that’s all…

So, I started writing this blog and along came Kelly. After one of my first posts she made shared it with the comment, paraphrase, “he sees me as human” or some such, with a real sense of wonder. Kelly is both Pagan and Lesbian.

Funny thing, when I write about Aj, the underlying context is Pagan. Here, she’s the thought for Religious Freedom. Writing about Z puts her in the “Lesbian box”. As much as I wish it didn’t. *other other editorial, not that I have a difficulty with her being gay, just wish it wasn’t the only thing that comes up. She’s far more than merely that part. Kind of looking at one petal and missing the rose*

Back to Kelly. I just see “Kelly”, not the aspects or “context”, just her. I see her family pictures. I see Kelly and her wife and outings, cookouts, and trips with their kid…and it’s normal. It’s just a family with a kid they love. Sure, there are two moms but, so effing what? It’s a family. I love watching them. They’re fiercely protective of each other and the kid. It’s what a family does, they love and protect and enjoy being a family. Nothing immoral. Nothing different than any other family that does things right…because they do. Kid’s gonna grow up to be a good adult because of the way the kid is being raised. Moms are gonna make sure of that. Just a family…

So, I’ve grown. It isn’t that I “adapted” or fell into the “trap of the gay agenda”. It’s just that I had to learn. I had two choices reject people I’ve come to love or change to be able to keep them. Easier, far easier, to change me. More to the point, I never want to reject someone for something that is innate to them and makes no difference to me. Tossing away someone because my normal and theirs aren’t in lockstep is stupid and short sighted. They are not immoral, just not the same as me. That’s all…and the funny thing is, they are EXACTLY the same. We have the same wants, needs, and desires in life.

It doesn’t matter that we share a faith, that doesn’t instill morality. It doesn’t matter that some are gay and I’m straight, that doesn’t change the condition of the heart. It matters that they love their faith. It matters that they treat me with dignity and respect for being different from them.

You see, to them, I’m abnormal. To the Pagans, my faith has persecuted theirs. To the Lesbians, straight white males have denigrated, slandered, and repressed them. By all rights, they should have a prejudice against ME. Yet, they don’t judge me, they accept and embrace me. They call me “loved”. They are more willing to love me than my past as a homophobic male has any reason to deserve…

I’ve learned. “Normal” is the most subjective of words. Who are we to impose our view of it on anyone else? Aj taught me that Pagan is normal. Z taught me that Lesbian is normal. Kelly taught me that families are families. They are all Treasures. They allow “abnormal” me to share their lives. They have been more patient with me than I deserve. For that, and their lives, they have my gratitude.