LAST CHANCE SALE!
Was $2,499.99 TODAY ONLY reduced to $9.99.
- Emerald Eyes and Mermaid Hair
- Poise, Grace, and Her Own Unique Style
- Fearlessly Loyal
- Kind and Caring
Do you want a New Best Friend that will always respond to your messages and calls? Are you looking for a New Best Friend to play Golf with or take on Outings? Is your idea of a New Best Friend perky and cheerful at all hours of the morning? Is Conventional™ exactly what you’re looking for? Do you need someone to go to church with? Do you like Winter Sports and Skiing? If those things are what you’re craving, for just 9.99 you’ll get far more than you could expect…
There’s more. For a limited time only, this New Best Friend will be shipped with our Exclusive Cutlery Set™ complete with knives, forks, spoons, and napkins. In addition, if you order today, your New Best Friend will bring her very own shovel. Today only, if you use the Promo Code “AjIsNotForSale” your New Best Friend will be shipped free via UPS Next Day Air.
Look guys, I’ve had far too much fun with this. I asked Aj if I could sell her on craigslist and she said “Don’t think you’ll get many offers. I’m a real bitch. What the hell? I could use some pocket change.”
I NEED Aj to exist. We don’t talk every day. Most of the time it’s a week or three apart. Doesn’t particularly matter how often we talk. What matters is that I am entirely sure that she has claimed me as her Best Friend and I’ve claimed her as my “best friend that is not my wife”. I truly revel in that.
She IS a bitch. She can be blunt and arrogant. She can be cutting but, not needlessly cruel. She is also kind and compassionate. She is patient if you’re trying to understand and will call you out for your stupidity if you’re not. Her “normal” isn’t mine but, she’s “normal” to me because I only know her to be exactly what she is.
She, if she wanted, could hurt me. I’ve given her that permission…and the only other person that is that far “inside” is my wife. The thing is, she won’t. She would rather let me wound her than to hurt me. There’s an opposite side to that coin. If I wanted to, I could do the same to her…and I’d rather chop off my hand. She doesn’t preview these, she reads them when you do. That means that she read that she was going to hell and being burned at the stake when Y’all did…and understood exactly why they were written and knew how hard they were to write.
I’ve been trying to sell her as a joke but, if she needed or found an upgrade Best Friend, I’d wish her well…and miss her dearly. My world is bigger and better for having her in it. I’m sure that at some point something else she tells me will give me some excuse to go neurotic and panicky…I hope it does because that’s when I learn the most while I work through it.
Life is short. I don’t know how long God has planned for me nor gods for her but, I’ll take the minutes they give us with gratitude. Aj is NOT for sale now nor will she ever be. You couldn’t afford to pay what she’s worth to me and you don’t have the right coin to offer.