sales

Reduced Price

Well crud…Due to the underwhelming number of offers gotta try again…

water witch

Limited Time Offer REDUCED PRICE!!!
Have you ever wanted your VERY OWN WITCH? Be the envy of your friends when you show up with a WITCH.  Imagine the fun you’ll have when you tell your family that your New Best Friend knows spells and grounding.  Think of the things you could do to your friends…and enemies if you had a Witch for a Best Friend. This particular Witch is lightly used and only slightly singed, she was pulled out of the fire in the nick of time. She comes complete with Mermaid hair and Emerald eyes to match your fashion and accessories.
THERE’S MORE…
This Witch comes with your choice of a Family Size smoked chicken or pork dinner w/2 sides and your choice of Iced Tea or bottled water.
As if that wasn’t enough, for a limited time only, this Witch was 29,999 and is now only 2,499. That’s over 90% off.
At Miller’s House of Second-Hand Witches, we have a generous return policy. If you are not COMPLETELY SATISFIED with your New Second Hand Witch, she can be returned at anytime within 30 days of purchase for a FULL REFUND.

Serious offers only.   All sales subject to terms and conditions.
Contact (480) 655-6630 or leave bid in comments below. Price does not include sales tax and licensing. Product not available in all 50 states. Shipping extra. Product may vary from description due to manufacturing inconsistencies. Picture does not represent actual product.

 

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Aj is For Sale

I talked it over with Aj. We decided we needed to test the market. If I’m going to have to shop for a new best friend, perhaps I should see what kind of cash I can get out of the old one. I mean, that really does limit my purchase options…particularly after Aj gets her cut of the sale price…

*wanders off to look at internet*

Well…hell…I tried to google how to sell Aj. It wasn’t any help. It’ll tell me how to sell body parts and guns but, not a living human…I guess I’ll just have to write an ad here and see what happens…

*chews pen and ponders*

FOR SALE: One lightly aged  lovingly cared for Best Friend
Are you in the market for a Best friend? I have just the one for you. This late 60’s model is really bitchin’. She comes with a Purple, Blue, and Green paint job. Her headlights are a Classic Green with a death stare. This is the Classic Collectable Best Friend you’ve been looking for. She’s low miles and has had all her maintenance done.
She’s the one that will push your boundaries. She’ll make you question your judgment. She takes all your preconceived notions of what you ever expected in a Best Friend and shatters them to tiny bits. If you want a Best Friend that will not spare your ego, you found her. If you want a Best Friend that will bring shovels with no questions asked, she’s the one. If you need a Best Friend that will tell you to jump off a bridge…and push you if you hesitate, Aj is it. If your ideas of a Best Friend include fearless loyalty, blunt, and smarter than you there is no question that you’ve found the one you’re looking for right here.
Words don’t quite express all the superlatives this Best Friend brings. She must be seen and heard to be truly appreciated.
Asking $24, 999 OBO
Serious offers only.   All sales final.
Contact (480) 655-6630 or leave offer in comments below.