Water

Ok…NOT Math…

Well hell…In baseball terms, “a swing and a miss…”. Yeah, I missed again…Magik ain’t math…

Among other things, like she says, I’m up to my usual overcomplication…and using an incorrect set of analogies…

Not Science. Should be using Cooking…I think…Different skill set. Not coldly empirical. To me, cooking is full of intangibles and soul and love.

It’s all good. There’s only “the rest of my life” to figure it out. *grins* I am relaxed, just eagerly relaxed. I’m learning about New Thing(s)…and that is fun. That’s the nice thing about being me. As long as it doesn’t offend my wife or Aj, I can do what I want to do. Learning about what’s important to Aj is what I want to do. It’s like writing this blog, I want to do it. If I didn’t, I’d quit…or take another year and a half break…

Anyway…I am “busily”…in a very relaxed manner…looking at ways to “undercomplicate”…Look at the bright side, this isn’t me trying to learn to send energy. THAT was an “adventure”. *grins*

Advertisements

Crap, Forgot a Title

Stuff…just early morning, had a nightmare so I couldn’t sleep, too much coffee to go back to bed, clearing my mind stuff…

I don’t particularly want to be introspective. That’s an odd thing since I tend to be. I spend quite a bit of time trying to figure out what I can do to be a better husband to My Sweety and a friend to My Witch. Those things are important to me. If effort can help me be better at them, then they get effort. Those women are important but, particularly to me. Between them they are my world so…yeah…I’ll be introspective…this blog is merely an extension of that process…

I have a “policy”. I think it’s important to me to tell the Ladies that I love that I love them as often as possible. Not to be needy but, I don’t when that “last chance” is going to be so, I don’t want to miss that chance. At the “end of things” I won’t want more money or time at work. I’ll want a few more minutes to tell them I love them…

Grammar counts…except when you don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. *grins* Then you use the words you have to grasp at concepts and ideas that you barely know exist so that you may develop the grammar to get to where you want to be. Meaning, I haven’t got the first f**king clue how some of the stuff Aj is trying to teach me works but, if I can find words I understand to be able to find the words she means, we’ll get there…

I tend to put My Sweety and My Witch on “a” pedestal. I KNOW they are human. I KNOW that they can be sarcastic, irritable, grouchy, short-tempered with stupid people, impatient, stubborn, and a whole boatload of others. I know these things, *grins* I’ve seen them directed at me. *grins again* So what? I keep saying about them “she may not be right for anyone else but, she’s perfect for me”. I am those things, too. It isn’t the things that put people off that I see…mostly…as disadvantages. I also see two people that, when they have decided that you are “worth the effort” actually make the effort. I see kind, patient, loving, trusting, fearless, and loyal. Did I mention that they are “too smart for MY own good”? I get those from them. I need those things from someone. I got lucky and found two people that give those to me. They give me their “whole selves” and not just “company manners”…I don’t want “perfect”.I for damn sure don’t need perfect. I want them to be just what they are…

It’s good to be me. I love my wife dearly and it’s returned. I love my best friend dearly and it’s returned. I have a job I can tolerate and it stays at work. I am mostly healthy…well, any 55-year-old house has a few creaks and groans…There is food in my kitchen. The air-conditioning works. I have most of my mind. I am stubborn as hell and that’s a good thing…yeah, it’s good to be me.

…and yeah, Aj, we WILL teach me to understand…even if you have to pound my head to mush, pour out the goop, and pour new stuff in…

She Did Lose Her F**king Mind…and I Really Appreciate That…

I imagined a conversation between My Witch and some other random friend of hers…Apologies in advance because I wrote it the way I would speak.

Hey, how’s it going?
Well, I’m teaching Miller about magik…
You’re teaching him about what?!”
Magik…
Have you lost your f**king mind? He’s never gonna get that and he doesn’t even want to Practice.
Yeah but, he’s like a Border Collie pup. He means well but, he’s clueless without training.
Think he’s going to get it?
Maybe…*flip flops hand in air*…he’s gonna try. Maybe 50/50 chance…this month…
So, why not just tell him to Google it?
Well…he said that he doesn’t care about what other witches do and I believe him…and he ain’t gonna ever get it if we confuse him with too many voices…
Gotcha…you have lost your mind but, I gotta admire your attempt.
Nope, he’ll get it…eventually…
So, where are y’all at?
Elements and elementals. You know, he thought Earth was made of dirt…
*facepalm* …better you than me…
*sigh* I know, right…

I do think she’s lost her mind. If it were me, knowing me, I’d probably not put the effort into it that she will. I’d just let me go on with my assumptions thinking “close enough for government work”. I expect that she won’t do that. She will keep “working the problem” till she’s sure I understand. That’s yet another reason I love her…and no, I’m not trying to learn to practice. I am trying to learn because she would have me learn. It’s an “effort thing”. Some people and their friendships are “worth the effort”. My Witch is one of the two, Sweety being the other, that I am willing to work at…I use the word “grateful” when I talk about her. I use it a bunch. I am also grateful for her patience and persistence.

I had another thought… I keep saying I’m inordinately proud of her. Here’s another reason why. Her path is not easy. She could have avoided it when the Goddesses and Gods called to her. She could have hidden and been a “closet witch”. She did neither. If you know her, she could no more be false to you than she could to herself. *grins* Watch this spot for more reasons…

“Is” not “Has”…

“My Witch…” Sometimes I become concerned when I use that phrase. Not because of how My Witch takes it but, that people that aren’t us “may” see it as a patriarchal possessive term. It isn’t. It isn’t a convenience either. It IS possessive, though. It is in the sense that I also refer to My Sweety. It’s a title and an encompassing term for someone that is more than a mere and overused phrase “best friend. There has only ever been one My Witch and there will never be another, just as My Sweety is a unique term. *sorry, needed that out of the way up front. Now, on with the story…*

It was lesson time again last night. I am trying to find a frame of reference for how magik works. It is entirely out of what I know. My Witch was trying to explain elements. I just wasn’t grasping the concept. I kept trying to use “mundane” descriptions when she said something was a quality. She kept saying Earth IS Stability…and I kept getting stuck on that as a description. Today I had an insight. I think I get it. Here goes…

My Witch is Honor. It isn’t a word that describes her. When we meet the Great Beyond, when we are dispersed to where ever we variously believe that we go, she, the smallest bit of her being will BE Honor. It will be that in the smallest or largest amount. It is all the same. Her Being is Honor and that does not define a quality. She is that. Just as she IS My Witch. No matter how scattered, the tiniest bit is the whole. I will, in whatever fashion we exist in after we’ve left this plane, recognize those two things…

Elements are the same as that bit…Earth is Stability. It is not what it does. It just is. Water is Fluid. It may flow, that is also true but, the state of it is Fluid…I “think” I get it. The smallest is the same as the whole…

I am a bit dense. That’s what she was trying to tell me last night. I think I understand. I just have to find terms that fit and then let them soak in. I’m learning…again…not to use but, to understand. I am not a musician but, I understand Music Theory. I have some of that background. It helps me to see the skill and art and passion. That’s why I’m trying and that’s why I’m pestering her. My Witch uses magik. She is a magikal being. To understand her, I need to understand the rest. Otherwise, what I see is not the whole. The whole is important…more important than I realized…