wisdom

A Comment Needed a Response and I’m NOT a Troll…

Reading other blogs is a good thing…sometimes…Other times I read the comments under them.

A few days ago I read a blog by a Pagan Lady explaining her friendship with a “Jesus Freak”. It was a very well written post talking about her friendship and how the two of them could get along. How they could find common ground and peace between them That they could share the blessings of their separate faiths with each other and not be intimidated or feel fear of the other. She also commented that some Pagans would *paraphrase* say it wasn’t possible and she was a traitor to her faith. Then a commentator proved her to be correct. He said he would accept allies “but”…In my mind, the word “but” in a sentence means “please disregard previous”…

I’m not a violent person. I haven’t physically hit someone since I was a kid on the playground. I wanted to smack the guy. You want allies only on your terms? Ok, here are mine to that guy. A. I don’t want to change you. B. I am an ally based on MY views, not yours. C. I am an ally because I want to be. It is my choice to attempt to help, not you compelling me. Alliances are based on MUTUAL respect and common ground. D. I may be some people’s ally but, *Yeah, that word* if you disrespect my views, I am not YOUR ally. You may feel free to reject the idea of my help and slight my beliefs, by doing that, it’s your loss, not mine…

*sigh*

Here’s the deal. I don’t “troll” comments or posts. If I have something to say, I use my own space to comment. I don’t get the need to disagree or argue with someone on line. I am willing to discuss a differing view but, to completely disparage another’s view, on a post that they wrote particularly when they are talking about a rare supporter of their belief system and an outsider that wants to help them, makes no sense to me.

I’m not “special”. I don’t need my ego stroked. I am also not common. I don’t know the percentage but, experientially there are very few pro-Pagan Christians that I have met…and I’ve looked for more. I need allies of my own faith to help me spread the word. If someone that is Pagan doesn’t want my help, fine, don’t take it. You have that right. Having said that, we, Christians ARE the majority view in this country. No matter how far my heresy goes, I’m still in the “club”. To push back against ANY of us that are willing to reach out or to put down ANY friendship that reaches out is “cutting off your nose to spite your face”…

Ok, the rant and “harsh” is over…*edit, I fibbed. my bad. rant continues toned down a tiny bit*

To more directly answer something I posed up there, “I am an ally because I want to be.” Why do I “want to be”? The short answer is because Aj, my “best friend that is not my wife” is Pagan. The longer answer is more complicated…

I didn’t want to be but, *that word again* I had to be. It would be easier not to be. A different blogger used the  phrase “agnostic Pagan” to describe the possibility that she might be mistaken. I have that same view, only Christian, I’ve been wrong before. It WILL happen again. To believe that my limited perspective and words I’ve read give me a lock on the Divine and morality is foolhardy…

It would be MUCH easier to be simplistic in my beliefs. “Christians good and EVERYONE else bad” is a far less complex world view but, that’s not the way I’m made. I am a person that recognizes my limitations.

*sigh*

There’s an, to borrow something from myself, expression “some of my best friends are (fill in the blank)”. It’s usually used by a racist, homophobe, or some other person to justify why they aren’t prejudiced…and they really are. In my case, some of my best friends are Pagan. No justification, fact. I can be judgmental and not exactly “tolerant” but, that’s based on the individual and not some charistic like faith or being LBGT. There are humans that fit any demographic that are people I love and like…and some that I think are complete a$$es…

Yeah, that guy bugged me and I can’t seem to get it out of my head.

I’m used to being the only Christian in a conversation or the only straight male. It would seem that the people I hang out with don’t care about those things and put up with my silly questions. *editorial, I mean on line. I go to work and come home. My “hang out” is virtual. My job requires much interaction and I like home and quiet* I digress, those people don’t “tolerate” or “accept” me, they are people I like and love and KNOW that is returned by them. They tease me and I tease back. Friends…that happen to not fit my demographic.

*sigh…for the I don’t know how many time*

My path is mine. I was raised Christian. I became “fallen”, if, not quite, atheist. I became, a bunch of years later, Conservative Christian. Over time, I wandered into heresy. It is my path. I don’t evangelize. If you don’t want to use the same path, don’t. It is not an easy one, questioning and doubting. It is mine, though. If you want your trail to parallel mine with a different faith, that’s fine. Keep your beliefs and faith and just walk along side. If you want my help, ask. If I am able and inclined, I will but, if you reject my help or lay conditions on what I do, don’t cry when I don’t. Don’t say that you reject my beliefs as they are as much a part of me as yours are part of you and then complain that you’re not getting the help or respect you think you deserve. It’s a two way street. Period. You get what you give.

I’ll take what help I can find. No matter if it’s from a Crone or a Saint. I’ll listen to words and, if there’s wisdom, gladly absorb what I am able. I’ll wish “Merry Christmas” or “Blessed Yule” depending on the person and not think twice. My nose doesn’t get out of joint at the idea that different beliefs are merely different, not wrong. I’ll respond to kindness and love with the same…

I’ve said it before, “I’m not your ally”. I might be a voice, if you’ll let me. I may not understand or share your views but, I’ll respect and defend your right to them and the practice of them. All I ask in return is the same I’m offering you…*editorial, I reserve the right to have self-contradictory views. I’m human*

Oh yeah, “mutual benefit”. What do I gain from helping you? Nothing but…some of the people I love and want the best for fit “your demographic” and what helps the people I love, helps me. If my words and thoughts make your life better and, as a result, theirs I’ve gained. To change their world for the better, I have to change yours, too.

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A Little Bit About Me

I write this blog as a protest against inequality for my friends. Allow me to digress a bit.

I’ve gotten older and, I hope, wiser. I’ve learned that my way is not often the only way or the only right way.

I have been opinionated. I still am.  I have been a jerk. It happens. .

Along my path, I have subjected those around me to outrageous displays of self indulgence and self destruction. I have been, and still am, my own worst enemy.

I have learned about love. That moderates my tendencies to be hard on myself. It has taught me to be far more accepting of others. Love is the cause of these posts. My path is to learn about it. My desire is to protect the people I love. My love of my wife and my desire for anyone that wants the same blessings for themselves is a motivation.  My faith teaches love. That seems to be forgotten in a culture that is taught polarity. It bugs me that I can’t seem to get that across.

I laugh a lot. I rarely do it here because it seems inappropriate for this blog. On the other side of this screen and on my Facebook page, I’m a goof with an odd sense of humor. I wish I could find a way to inject humor into this page. I just can’t. For whatever reason, this page is for “serious”.

I’ve learned that the things I treasure in life are the people in mine. By the standards of the world, I am not rich. Nope, barely middle class. By my standards, I am wealthy beyond my wildest dreams. I have my wife. I love her more than I love my next breath. I have some friends that I trust with my fears and prayers. They are worth writing about. I would ask, in all honesty, if there is anyone that you would tell the world about, even if they didn’t conform to your former world view? If you have someone, you are blessed. I have two. That is wealth beyond my dreams.

I’ve learned that I do not like the word “accept” or it’s relative “tolerate”. Those two words describe what you do when there is a loud infant in the grocery store.  I may not have the same path as the people in my life but, it is not mine to imply that theirs is wrong and for me to endure. It is merely their path. It is a part of them. It made them the person they are. If I say that I love them, it doesn’t mean that I have to do things the way they do but, I need to embrace, there’s a word I like, the whole of them. Different doesn’t mean wrong, it means different.

I hope I’ve grown up as I’ve grown older. I still have a child like sense of wonder when something beautiful happens. I still love dogs. I still tell corny jokes and laugh at farts. *smiles* I love to eat snacks. My eyes are very young, from this side.

I hope you guys don’t mind this one. I just wanted to write about me for a bit. Maybe it will help you to understand me. Maybe it will help you.  My life may not be perfect but, it’s mine and I am a blessed man.